There's nothing unusual here. Overly religious/traditional blue pill dude comes in with naive, unrealistic views on female sexuality based largely on a conservative upbringing. He puts women on a massive pedestal and is hurt very badly when he finds out that they don't belong and, more importantly, have absolutely no desire to be put there.
The pedestalization is key here, and I know because I had the same issue early in college (and for the entirety of my life prior to that). All of this is so painful because he has these women on such a high pedestal-he had so much emotionally invested in them and in his interactions with them that any failure/breaching of that could cause serious damage. Hearing about/listening to them get run through by other dudes is much harder because he had this view of them in the first place.
To him, these young girls were "princesses", and he their prince. Each was considered a potential wife and mother to his children.
To the other dudes on campus, these girls were mere sex toys, and some were passed around accordingly.
It is one thing to watch any old girl getting treated like a sex toy. It is another thing entirely to watch (or listen to, or even hear about) your "princess" (girl you pedestalize, emotionally invested in, etc) getting treated that way. When you catch feelings like this, you put yourself in a tough position. It results in a lot of pain 99% of the time because the girls usually don't wish to live up to the "princess" standard you set for them, and the amount of emotional investment you put in usually means that anything less than "princess" behavior results in terrible pain and insecurity.
The end result is a situation in which the girl has a vastly disproportionate and entirely unwarranted degree of control over an individual guy's mental state, a fact that only further lowers his sexual appeal to her (women have a hard time respecting men they can control like that-they want a man, not a puppy dog). Even the mere hint of her showing interest in other men in the manner most young, liberated western girls typically do can send this guy spiraling into deep depression. Anything more serious (i.e. the sounds of her getting pounded out by another guy, or even the rumor that she had been/is being pounded out by another guy) could totally destroy him.
Now, what exactly were the girls' opinions as to where they stood with men? How did they prefer to be seen? Which role did they prefer to play? Well, that's clear-look at their actions. They responded to the men who didn't put them on a pedestal. In this I am actually reminded of a popular song from my childhood by Train entitled "Meet Virginia".
In the chorus, it is said:
Some of these girls will talk about how they want a "nice guy" deep down (they said as much to this dude). To the naive who do not understand the value of female action over female words, it may appear that they want to "be the queen".
When push comes to shove, however, these girls have no desire to stand on the pedestal men like this set up for them, and will usually run when presented with it. They do not want to be his princess. Many don't want to be treated like mere sperm receptacles either, but when given the stark choice between Prince Charming here and the attractive but douchey player down the street who isn't going to worship the ground they walk on, they will usually choose the latter.
Why is this? They're young, well provisioned, and have no need to give a fuck about the benefits a dull beta like himself could offer them, at least not at that point in their lives. They just want guys who can turn them on and show them a good time, and the dull beta can generally do neither.
Now, we must speak about this guy's predicament with respect to the "other dudes". His pedestalization not only makes it difficult to deal with the sexual choices made by his "princesses", but also with the fact that men he perceives to be "less than" him are gaining more sexual access than he is. This group of males would, apparently, include athletes, particularly black ones:
Because it should matter, right?
It is implied here that the fact that their race didn't matter somehow makes the situation he describes more dire, as though these women would and should, in an ideal world, weigh the race of the men they pursue much more heavily and negatively. That they would be less inclined to restrict sexual access to an attractive black guy simply because he is black seems odd to him.
It is here that this poster veers into the unfortunate (but, sadly, not entirely unexpected) morass of racial insecurity that as a black male makes me lose what little sympathy I had for him. It is this type of attitude that makes me wary of traditional conservatism as practiced in this country. I understand the core philosophy quite well (hell, I grew up in it, and have been to some of the places this guy has been emotionally), but this subtle tone of racial insecurity is far too common for my liking.
These guys are too anxious to throw people of color in general under the bus to assuage their own sexual insecurities instead of just genuinely facing and conquering these insecurities.
This is someone who clearly views black men as individuals who should not in any way be competing with him sexually-they're not truly his "equals".
He also has white girls in particular on a very high pedestal, which is problematic because they, more so than just about anyone else, have made it very clear (see the entirety of the feminist movement for evidence) that they do not want to be there.
They have made it really clear that (after spending hundreds of years atop a pedestal as anointed symbols of American beauty, divinity and morality) they have no desire to adhere to a rigid moral standard of the kind this guy wishes to place them in. They want to fuck who they want, when they want, and how they want.
These dutiful, nice, but dull betas are not appealing to them and they (just like all other women regardless of ethnicity) are voting against them with their feet now because they can. There remains no need nor desire for them to lock themselves into eternal matrimony with these men. Those days are gone, and they are not coming back-the genie will not go back into the bottle and the old "christian" ways will not become a norm again. These women have their freedom, and this is the choice they have made (and will continue to make): They want actual attractive men, not sensitive puppies like this who a) have no clue how to turn them on and b) can be so easily manipulated and destroyed by them emotionally.
When this dude can quit the racially insecure BS, realize/begin fixing his own faults and adapt to this new reality that isn't going away, there will be potential here. Until then, I remain skeptical of any chance for redemption. Scorpion has it right-the guy is just another sensitive loser as of now. Nothing more, nothing less. Adapt or die.
The pedestalization is key here, and I know because I had the same issue early in college (and for the entirety of my life prior to that). All of this is so painful because he has these women on such a high pedestal-he had so much emotionally invested in them and in his interactions with them that any failure/breaching of that could cause serious damage. Hearing about/listening to them get run through by other dudes is much harder because he had this view of them in the first place.
To him, these young girls were "princesses", and he their prince. Each was considered a potential wife and mother to his children.
To the other dudes on campus, these girls were mere sex toys, and some were passed around accordingly.
It is one thing to watch any old girl getting treated like a sex toy. It is another thing entirely to watch (or listen to, or even hear about) your "princess" (girl you pedestalize, emotionally invested in, etc) getting treated that way. When you catch feelings like this, you put yourself in a tough position. It results in a lot of pain 99% of the time because the girls usually don't wish to live up to the "princess" standard you set for them, and the amount of emotional investment you put in usually means that anything less than "princess" behavior results in terrible pain and insecurity.
Quote:Quote:
"That same weekend after getting turned down I got to hear her getting fucked hard and loud in the room next door. The guy who lived there was a super scraggly unattractive heavy drug user covered in tattoos majoring in “music studies”. This girl was young hot thin beautiful in her physical prime. I never said anything. But I felt so hurt she turned me down for casual sex with a guy like that."
The end result is a situation in which the girl has a vastly disproportionate and entirely unwarranted degree of control over an individual guy's mental state, a fact that only further lowers his sexual appeal to her (women have a hard time respecting men they can control like that-they want a man, not a puppy dog). Even the mere hint of her showing interest in other men in the manner most young, liberated western girls typically do can send this guy spiraling into deep depression. Anything more serious (i.e. the sounds of her getting pounded out by another guy, or even the rumor that she had been/is being pounded out by another guy) could totally destroy him.
Now, what exactly were the girls' opinions as to where they stood with men? How did they prefer to be seen? Which role did they prefer to play? Well, that's clear-look at their actions. They responded to the men who didn't put them on a pedestal. In this I am actually reminded of a popular song from my childhood by Train entitled "Meet Virginia".
In the chorus, it is said:
Quote:Quote:
Well she wants to be the queen
Then she thinks about her scene
Pulls her hair back as she screams
"I don't really wanna be the queen"
Some of these girls will talk about how they want a "nice guy" deep down (they said as much to this dude). To the naive who do not understand the value of female action over female words, it may appear that they want to "be the queen".
When push comes to shove, however, these girls have no desire to stand on the pedestal men like this set up for them, and will usually run when presented with it. They do not want to be his princess. Many don't want to be treated like mere sperm receptacles either, but when given the stark choice between Prince Charming here and the attractive but douchey player down the street who isn't going to worship the ground they walk on, they will usually choose the latter.
Why is this? They're young, well provisioned, and have no need to give a fuck about the benefits a dull beta like himself could offer them, at least not at that point in their lives. They just want guys who can turn them on and show them a good time, and the dull beta can generally do neither.
Now, we must speak about this guy's predicament with respect to the "other dudes". His pedestalization not only makes it difficult to deal with the sexual choices made by his "princesses", but also with the fact that men he perceives to be "less than" him are gaining more sexual access than he is. This group of males would, apparently, include athletes, particularly black ones:
Quote:Quote:
Hot sorority girls flocked to Football players like a butterfly’s on a beast. It didn’t even matter if the guy was black.
Because it should matter, right?
It is implied here that the fact that their race didn't matter somehow makes the situation he describes more dire, as though these women would and should, in an ideal world, weigh the race of the men they pursue much more heavily and negatively. That they would be less inclined to restrict sexual access to an attractive black guy simply because he is black seems odd to him.
It is here that this poster veers into the unfortunate (but, sadly, not entirely unexpected) morass of racial insecurity that as a black male makes me lose what little sympathy I had for him. It is this type of attitude that makes me wary of traditional conservatism as practiced in this country. I understand the core philosophy quite well (hell, I grew up in it, and have been to some of the places this guy has been emotionally), but this subtle tone of racial insecurity is far too common for my liking.
These guys are too anxious to throw people of color in general under the bus to assuage their own sexual insecurities instead of just genuinely facing and conquering these insecurities.
This is someone who clearly views black men as individuals who should not in any way be competing with him sexually-they're not truly his "equals".
He also has white girls in particular on a very high pedestal, which is problematic because they, more so than just about anyone else, have made it very clear (see the entirety of the feminist movement for evidence) that they do not want to be there.
Quote:Quote:
One night I had enough. I confronted a room of 8-10 gorgeous white girls. These girls were 18-24 years old. I asked them if they planned to get married. All seemed to say more or less – YES. I asked what their future husband would think about their behavior. I was immediately met with hostility. I was told the future husband would “never know” and “it’s none of his business”. The girls said they knew exactly what they were doing and were planning to “have their fun” (fun= partying, fun=sex, fun=going on spring break etc.) and would “settle down later”. I asked: when are you planning to settle down? They said: “It depends” and “probably around 27, 28” or “maybe sooner it depends”. I really put the girls on the spot. During our exchange they saw I was upset. They told me I should be happy because “nice guys finish first in the end”. I told them you cannot have your cake and eat it to.
They have made it really clear that (after spending hundreds of years atop a pedestal as anointed symbols of American beauty, divinity and morality) they have no desire to adhere to a rigid moral standard of the kind this guy wishes to place them in. They want to fuck who they want, when they want, and how they want.
These dutiful, nice, but dull betas are not appealing to them and they (just like all other women regardless of ethnicity) are voting against them with their feet now because they can. There remains no need nor desire for them to lock themselves into eternal matrimony with these men. Those days are gone, and they are not coming back-the genie will not go back into the bottle and the old "christian" ways will not become a norm again. These women have their freedom, and this is the choice they have made (and will continue to make): They want actual attractive men, not sensitive puppies like this who a) have no clue how to turn them on and b) can be so easily manipulated and destroyed by them emotionally.
When this dude can quit the racially insecure BS, realize/begin fixing his own faults and adapt to this new reality that isn't going away, there will be potential here. Until then, I remain skeptical of any chance for redemption. Scorpion has it right-the guy is just another sensitive loser as of now. Nothing more, nothing less. Adapt or die.
Know your enemy and know yourself, find naught in fear for 100 battles. Know yourself but not your enemy, find level of loss and victory. Know thy enemy but not yourself, wallow in defeat every time.