[Tigre]

First of all, great summary of an important book. Thanks for posting this.

I'll go ahead and add one quote from the book that really stuck with me.

Dale Carnegie Wrote:

There is only one way under high heaven to get anybody
to do anything. Did you ever stop to think of that? Yes,
just one way. And that is by making the other person want to do it.

Remember, there is no other way.

Of course, you can make someone want to give you his
watch by sticking a revolver in his ribs. You can make
your employees give you cooperation - until your back
is turned - by threatening to fire them. You can make a
child do what you want it to do by a whip or a threat. But
these crude methods have sharply undesirable repercussions.

The only way I can get you to do anything is by giving
you what you want.

What do you want?

I also would add that I think the below concept is still really good advice. "Give her money to spend as she chooses."

(11-26-2012 03:32 AM)Thomas the Rhymer Wrote:  

Carnegie then gives some rules specific for husbands on how to treat a wife. These rules are quite beta so I will not go into them - they probably worked well in his day and age, but I doubt advice such as, "Give her money to spend as she chooses" would be of any benefit in modern long term relationships.

The alternative is not to give her anything to spend as she chooses. So she's accountable for all spending decisions she makes. The consequence of that is she feels she has to justify any purchase she makes.

Put yourself in that position... how would you feel if someone is going to bitch at you over what you spent on a couple of beers last night, or how much you spent on something small that you wanted for entertainment.

If you're running a house with joint finances, you need to break off a portion that is walking around money, entertainment money or whatever. And not nag the other person about how they decide to use it.

Or have I missed something and people no longer run joint finances any more?