http://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/co...im/c72ztms
Too much realness for the girl? She deleted her original post after this response
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The extent to which cheating is forgivable is somewhat dependent on context. Unfortunately for you, a lot of variables in this situation are going to make this tough to get past. I'll give you a male's perspective on this situation.
We males are a proud bunch and pretty territorial. Very few things crush a man's pride like being cheated on. Sometimes we can get past it, that depends on the context.
1 - You cheated on him with a friend of his. If it were a stranger, he may have been able to handle it, but this is a close friend. He has to look this person in the eye knowing he fucked his wife. Their friendship is probably ruined because he probably won't be able to handle that. Pride won't allow it. So not only did you fuck up his relationship with you, you sabotaged his relationship with his friend (I know his friend is not blameless, but that's irrelevant). Also, any male friendships in the future will be probably involve some paranoia on his part.
2 - Threesome. The ultimate fantasy for many males. Your husband probably fantasized about having a threesome with you, but instead you had one with his friend. Double shot to his pride. Not only did his friend fuck his wife, he had a threesome with her. Crushing.
3 - Not only did you cheat on him, you did it while he was away at work. While he was providing for you and your future together. So he was off trying to make a better life for you two and you engaged in a threesome with his close friend as a reward. More pride destroyed.
4 - Things were seemingly good in your relationship. Maybe he could have understood if you were in a rough spot, but by your account, things were pretty happy. How is he supposed to trust you if you can't stay faithful during the happy times?
Do you see how this is much bigger than just cheating? You cheated with his best friend, in a threesome (which you have never done with your husband), while he was working, and during the happy times. The context matters, and you did way more than just cheat, given the circumstances. And alcohol is a pointless excuse. He won't buy that.
Frankly, I just don't see how his pride can permit him to forgive you. Staying with you would make him seem like the ultimate cuckold. If you get rejected, don't feel sorry for yourself, feel sorry for him. He's going to be the one with the bigger adjustment/relationship issues after this.
Too much realness for the girl? She deleted her original post after this response