This is question for good looking guys, or people who happen to have this problem too. Do women tend to be defensive around you? I've been seeing this trend a lot growing up. My classmate a few days ago even said that people must see me as a piece of meat.
I was at the bus stop a few days ago and asked someone when the bus came and then asked her if she worked at a certain business nearby because she was dressed in a certain way. She responded to me passively. There was a guy next to us who was wearing baggy clothes, a hoodie, and just looked like he didn't want to get up that morning. The girl was married and she didn't seem that fun to talk to. When I left, I noticed her talking to the other guy. She seemed more receptive. From what I could hear the conversation was bland with common questions, but somehow she just seemed more outgoing. She laughed. She was friendly. When she got on the bus, she took the seat that was available next to me, and two minutes after I started talking to her she took her phone out and started texting. Seemed plausible. Maybe I came off a certain way to her.
Then, later in the day, I'm getting groceries and I'm at the check out line. The girl at the register is talking to me in this kind of passive aggressive sort of way. Like she's exercising her wit on me. It felt exactly like the same way a customer would talk down to a stripper because it's a man's opportunity to shut down a really attractive person. I was buying wasabi peas.
"Do you like these?"
"No, I like girls," she said.
"Great. . . I don't need to know that."
I didn't know what her problem was.
This happened last weekend. I didn't want to write about it because I thought it wasn't a big deal. BUT! I came into class late today and after class, I asked this girl in class if I could take a look at her notes. I simply chose her because she seemed smart and she tends to participate a lot in class. This is our conversation...
"Hey, did you take notes?"
"Yes."
"Would you mind if I take a look at them?"
"No. They are for my eyes only."
"Umm okay."
I didn't think of it in any way until I noticed her puny boyfriend, who I didn't know was her boyfriend, forcefully displaying possession of his girlfriend by putting his arm around her awkwardly as they walked out of the classroom.
WTF????
I've noticed this a lot in my life. That girl in the beginning who said that people must use me as a piece of meat, also said that I tend to have a presence. I know this, but at the same time, I tried to brush it off and say that I never noticed.
"Don't tell me this is the first time you've noticed this. . ." she said. Trying to beat in my head that I must be a certain subset of male that gives off a certain esteem.
What's up with this? What should I do?
Honestly, I don't see a way out of this. This isn't just girls. I've had a lot of guy friends who use to talk down to me in the past because I tend to give off this certain "presence." I would have really close friends and I would meet their friends and those other friends just didn't like me. They couldn't explain it. I would overhear them saying things like, "I just don't like that guy." I've lost friends because of this. I've lost people who are close to me because of this. No matter how much I tried to keep those friendships by changing myself, it just seemed to be an issue in themselves that I could not change no matter what I did. I've had girls tell me that their boyfriends specifically asked them not to hang out with me on several occasions, even when I made an honest effort not to talk to either of them. It's really ridiculous!
It just seems that everyone gets defensive around me. Not only that, it seems like people feel threatened around me and they need to attack me in some way.
This is a problem. What should I do?
I'm sure I'm not the only one with this quality.
I was at the bus stop a few days ago and asked someone when the bus came and then asked her if she worked at a certain business nearby because she was dressed in a certain way. She responded to me passively. There was a guy next to us who was wearing baggy clothes, a hoodie, and just looked like he didn't want to get up that morning. The girl was married and she didn't seem that fun to talk to. When I left, I noticed her talking to the other guy. She seemed more receptive. From what I could hear the conversation was bland with common questions, but somehow she just seemed more outgoing. She laughed. She was friendly. When she got on the bus, she took the seat that was available next to me, and two minutes after I started talking to her she took her phone out and started texting. Seemed plausible. Maybe I came off a certain way to her.
Then, later in the day, I'm getting groceries and I'm at the check out line. The girl at the register is talking to me in this kind of passive aggressive sort of way. Like she's exercising her wit on me. It felt exactly like the same way a customer would talk down to a stripper because it's a man's opportunity to shut down a really attractive person. I was buying wasabi peas.
"Do you like these?"
"No, I like girls," she said.
"Great. . . I don't need to know that."
I didn't know what her problem was.
This happened last weekend. I didn't want to write about it because I thought it wasn't a big deal. BUT! I came into class late today and after class, I asked this girl in class if I could take a look at her notes. I simply chose her because she seemed smart and she tends to participate a lot in class. This is our conversation...
"Hey, did you take notes?"
"Yes."
"Would you mind if I take a look at them?"
"No. They are for my eyes only."
"Umm okay."
I didn't think of it in any way until I noticed her puny boyfriend, who I didn't know was her boyfriend, forcefully displaying possession of his girlfriend by putting his arm around her awkwardly as they walked out of the classroom.
WTF????
I've noticed this a lot in my life. That girl in the beginning who said that people must use me as a piece of meat, also said that I tend to have a presence. I know this, but at the same time, I tried to brush it off and say that I never noticed.
"Don't tell me this is the first time you've noticed this. . ." she said. Trying to beat in my head that I must be a certain subset of male that gives off a certain esteem.
What's up with this? What should I do?
Honestly, I don't see a way out of this. This isn't just girls. I've had a lot of guy friends who use to talk down to me in the past because I tend to give off this certain "presence." I would have really close friends and I would meet their friends and those other friends just didn't like me. They couldn't explain it. I would overhear them saying things like, "I just don't like that guy." I've lost friends because of this. I've lost people who are close to me because of this. No matter how much I tried to keep those friendships by changing myself, it just seemed to be an issue in themselves that I could not change no matter what I did. I've had girls tell me that their boyfriends specifically asked them not to hang out with me on several occasions, even when I made an honest effort not to talk to either of them. It's really ridiculous!
It just seems that everyone gets defensive around me. Not only that, it seems like people feel threatened around me and they need to attack me in some way.
This is a problem. What should I do?
I'm sure I'm not the only one with this quality.