Here is what all the pickup books don't tell you, and I am speaking from personal experience. There are certain prerequisites to being a “player”:
1. Wide attraction range. You have to be attracted to a wide range of girls, the wider the better. 95% of the girls you will get will be in the 4 - 7 range. You will occasionally get a top tier girl but this will be the exception not the norm. If you have a specific type of girl you find attractive then it will be difficult for you. The more specific the type you are attracted to the more difficult it will be simply because the potential pool of those types of girls will be very limited in any given location. Every guy I know that has slept with a lot of girls had this characteristic. Brazilians possess this trait and this is the primary reason there is a lot of sex going on there. A Brazilian guy will just as easily bang a 6 as he will a 9.
2. High sex drive. This is the gas for your engine. Your primary motivation for going out there and doing the work. Without a high sex drive you won't have the motivation to put in the work to get the girls. You also won't find the lower quality girls that attractive. A lot of guys think they have a higher sex drive than they really do. Also as you age, your sex drive gradually decreases. After mid-thirties you will definitely notice a drop-off compared to your mid-twenties. So if it’s not high to when you are young it certainly won’t get better as you get older.
3. Time and energy. It takes a tremendous amount of time and energy to go out there and do the approaches and then the follow up work to get a lot of girls. With a typical success rate of 20%, 80% of the time and effort will amount to nothing. You have to be able to keep going in the face of these kinds of odds and that's takes more than time and effort, it takes dedication. The amount of time and effort requires is essentially equivalent to a second job. And just like a job it also requires that level of consistency. It has to be something you are doing practically every day in some way.
4. Subjugation of your morality. Women exchange sex for relationships - period. Men want sex, women want relationships. It is extremely rare to find a woman that will have sex just for the joy of sex on a regular basis. You can find a woman, that for whatever reason, wants to just have sex for one night but to find one that really just wants to be a fuck-buddy is very difficult. What this means is that, most of the time, you will have to present the possibility of relationship to get sex from a woman - in another words, sell her a fantasy. You will know that are you doing this and in essence you are being dishonest or telling a “white lie”. Initially, it won't bother you too much because you will justify it by telling yourself it's a mutual exchange of pleasure etc. etc. But over time, it will start to get to you unless you are able to suppress your morality. For some this may be easy but for others it will be more difficult. The other issue that will fall under this category is alcohol and drugs. At what point of being wasted do you decide a girl no longer really knows what the hell she is doing. I had to invent ways to test this because personally I wanted to make sure she knew exactly what was happening. I didn’t want to wake up the next day and have to deal with any kind of date rape situation.
Unless you have or can somehow acquire these prerequisites your ability to be any kind of substantial player will be limited. Your personality and character can either help or hinder you this regard. While I possessed No. 2 and 3 I came to eventually realize that I did not possess No. 1 and 4. The end results of this combination being, that while I was able to meet to lot of women I didn't bang a lot of women. My attraction range was actually quite narrow. When I did meet a girl I was really attracted to I was very effective but those girls didn’t come along that often. The majority of the girls I met fell outside of my attraction range and that, coupled with my sense of morality, drastically reduced my final numbers. Over time I have come to accept this: that while I may not bang a lot of girls the ones I do get are of a very high quality. A true player is like a goose hunter, he uses a shot gun and is after numbers. I on the other hand was like a big cat game hunter: I used a sniper rifle and stalked and killed one prey at a time.
1. Wide attraction range. You have to be attracted to a wide range of girls, the wider the better. 95% of the girls you will get will be in the 4 - 7 range. You will occasionally get a top tier girl but this will be the exception not the norm. If you have a specific type of girl you find attractive then it will be difficult for you. The more specific the type you are attracted to the more difficult it will be simply because the potential pool of those types of girls will be very limited in any given location. Every guy I know that has slept with a lot of girls had this characteristic. Brazilians possess this trait and this is the primary reason there is a lot of sex going on there. A Brazilian guy will just as easily bang a 6 as he will a 9.
2. High sex drive. This is the gas for your engine. Your primary motivation for going out there and doing the work. Without a high sex drive you won't have the motivation to put in the work to get the girls. You also won't find the lower quality girls that attractive. A lot of guys think they have a higher sex drive than they really do. Also as you age, your sex drive gradually decreases. After mid-thirties you will definitely notice a drop-off compared to your mid-twenties. So if it’s not high to when you are young it certainly won’t get better as you get older.
3. Time and energy. It takes a tremendous amount of time and energy to go out there and do the approaches and then the follow up work to get a lot of girls. With a typical success rate of 20%, 80% of the time and effort will amount to nothing. You have to be able to keep going in the face of these kinds of odds and that's takes more than time and effort, it takes dedication. The amount of time and effort requires is essentially equivalent to a second job. And just like a job it also requires that level of consistency. It has to be something you are doing practically every day in some way.
4. Subjugation of your morality. Women exchange sex for relationships - period. Men want sex, women want relationships. It is extremely rare to find a woman that will have sex just for the joy of sex on a regular basis. You can find a woman, that for whatever reason, wants to just have sex for one night but to find one that really just wants to be a fuck-buddy is very difficult. What this means is that, most of the time, you will have to present the possibility of relationship to get sex from a woman - in another words, sell her a fantasy. You will know that are you doing this and in essence you are being dishonest or telling a “white lie”. Initially, it won't bother you too much because you will justify it by telling yourself it's a mutual exchange of pleasure etc. etc. But over time, it will start to get to you unless you are able to suppress your morality. For some this may be easy but for others it will be more difficult. The other issue that will fall under this category is alcohol and drugs. At what point of being wasted do you decide a girl no longer really knows what the hell she is doing. I had to invent ways to test this because personally I wanted to make sure she knew exactly what was happening. I didn’t want to wake up the next day and have to deal with any kind of date rape situation.
Unless you have or can somehow acquire these prerequisites your ability to be any kind of substantial player will be limited. Your personality and character can either help or hinder you this regard. While I possessed No. 2 and 3 I came to eventually realize that I did not possess No. 1 and 4. The end results of this combination being, that while I was able to meet to lot of women I didn't bang a lot of women. My attraction range was actually quite narrow. When I did meet a girl I was really attracted to I was very effective but those girls didn’t come along that often. The majority of the girls I met fell outside of my attraction range and that, coupled with my sense of morality, drastically reduced my final numbers. Over time I have come to accept this: that while I may not bang a lot of girls the ones I do get are of a very high quality. A true player is like a goose hunter, he uses a shot gun and is after numbers. I on the other hand was like a big cat game hunter: I used a sniper rifle and stalked and killed one prey at a time.