[Frank Mackey]

(07-14-2012 01:53 PM)speakeasy Wrote:  

(07-14-2012 10:51 AM)RaulValdez739 Wrote:  

(07-11-2012 08:29 AM)dontuan Wrote:  

(07-08-2012 02:18 PM)RaulValdez739 Wrote:  

(07-04-2012 08:17 PM)Roosh Wrote:  

When I first read that I thought, "Hmm that's a bit beta" but then I thought of my CS experiences and it would have saved me many hours I wasted to find out about a BF down the line. I will try this "Strategic Beta" move.

If a girl says she has a BF, do you just cancel?

By the way just a friendly reminder to everyone: don't publicly post your CS profile on here ever. CS white knights are lurking.

Say instead "Alot of boyfriends tend to be threatened by me and so i prefer to meet with single girls." That appears stronger than what you said.

Hey, so I just took your advice and replied to a girl with that "boyfriends threatened by me" line. This is how she replied:

"I will be honest with you, I'm very surprised by your message. If you’re looking for single women, in my opinion, you should consider changing the portal. CS is the place, where you can find people with the same passion which is world, travelling or cultural differences, not looking for single women and dating opportunities. When you understand this philosophy, you will also understand that it shouldn’t be important to you if I have a boyfriend or not... or will he be threatened by you or not...
By the way, you must be very presumptuous to write things like that."

Ouch! won't be using that one anymore.

Damn lol. A conversation with a girl went like this once

Myself: Cute pic by the way. Are you single?

Her: Oh boy, is this a hook up thing? I really just want to meet new people.

Myself: No ofcourse not. But alot of Boyfriends feel threatened by me. So i prefer to hangout with single girls.

Her: Ok, sorry if I offended you. And yes, single.

I'm suppose to meet her this weekend

Let us know what happens. What I'm curious about is how "on guard" she will now be after you asked her status.

I used couchsurfing a lot, mostly hosting girls at my place. While I see the idea behind these subrepticious ways of asking her if she is committed, I believe the best tactic may actually be not to ask her anything at all.

I prefer to carefully check for any references or stuff in CS or in her facebook that may suggest that she has a boyfriend. If that is the case, it means two things: (i) she has a boyfriend; (ii) she wants to show the world that she has a boyfriend. It's even worse if in the online conversations with you prior to meeting she ever mentions at her initiative that she has a boyfriend (like "yes Frank, I'm just coming to Lisbon for one night, since I am departing to Rio on Sunday to visit my boyfriend".)

If there is not any reference or suggestion online that she has a boyfriend and she does not mention it, it should mean two things: (i) she does not have a boyfriend; OR (ii) she has a boyfriend and has for now decided not to make this public. Girls can have a ton of reasons not to exhibit their commitment status, one of which could be the fact that they know they won't be hosted if they do so. But experience has suggested me that many, many times, when their FB profile does not have any indicator of commitment, it means they are "breakable" when you host them. I can tell you that at least one girl I hosted (and that I banged the same night she arrived at my place) admitted later that she had a boyfriend, and that he was freaking out when I liked some stuff she posted in her profile (we kind of got a bit attached for some months, it was a nice experience). Also, in my group of friends, the girls who are totally committed to their boyfriends usually publish photos and other stuff in facebook that confirms the existence of the relationship (of course, some girls will not do that since they are against sharing stuff in facebook about relationships).

So, to sum it up, I NEVER ask them if they have a boyfriend.

I prefer instead to check if they are into me, and this can be done in many different ways. Usually in the second message I send (after she confirms she accepted my host request) I tell her something like »so when you arrive just call me at this number ...; if you have facebook online, you can also add me there, this is my email and am always reachable in fb also.» If the girl does not add you as a friend in facebook, this is a strong indicator that she is not curious about you. I have cancelled hosting girls because of this, many times.

Basically, I think it's better to check if she is "motivated" (as you guys have already underlined also) than to check if she is "committed".

PS: anyway, there are no strict rules in relation to this. I remember making out with an Australian girl I hosted (did not bang though), in the same day when she was talking with her boyfriend at my place through skype for around one hour... during which she even cried and told me she missed him. maybe she was crying because she already knew what was going to happen later