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Nicaragua
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Nicaragua

So last December I decided to go to Belize. I got my flag, humped some tourist girls, got super trashed, went diving, and had the greatest time of my life.

I decided to do it again, but in Nicaragua. Which, do to the lack of forum information, I thought would be a possible poosie paradise. I was wrong.

Country And Culture:

Nicaragua very much a third world country, in fact it´s the second poorest nation in the entire Western Hemisphere. Despite this the people are very proud and put a lot of effort into things like a cleanly appearence and social customs. It has a very hot and humid climate, and is home to a diverse set of cultures that vary depending on which part of the country you are in. Most of the country is Latin American, but the Atlantic coast has a large Afro-Carribean population. Important The Nicaraguans speak choppa Spanish, it´s where endings to words are cut off. I can´t vouch for this, but my dad told me that they speak like this in Argentina as well.

Background: Since everyone´s expiriences will differ here´s some information about myself. I´m a dude from a small Mid-West town, my Spanish is passable, and I rolled to Nicaragua solo (because all my friends are pussies who don´t travel).

Places I hit up:

Managua: My first night was here and it was awesome. Until I woke up the next morning to find that I had been robbed of my Visa Travel card and now only had $20 USD. My Spanish is okay, but it wasn´t up to snuff with being able to find out where the U.S. Embassy was, or navigating the cities winding and chaotic streets. I did end up getting to the embassy and getting my money transferred, which was cool. But I also got sevre dehydration and ended up looking like Hunter S. Thompson on his ether binge in Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. I spent most of the day relaxing after that, and then went out to daygame before heading to one of the nearby clubs. At the club, it was a total susuage fest and had an infestation of ugly ass hookers (one was missing teeth). I ended up leaving around tenish. When I got back to my hotel I decided I wanted something to eat from the food cart 20 feet from my setup, and while walking over there got jumped by three guys. Luckily I´m a fast runner, because I juked around two of the dudes while I shouted for police (was this beta?) the guys were pretty amatuer and the ran off into the dark again. That was the last time I went out at night in Managua.

Game Venues: The Huge ass mall (Cento commercial, or something like that, I´m waiting for my flight so I don´t have my day game map I made with me) you´ll know when your by it. Just do standard daygame and you´ll be cool. Also there are a lot of hot chicks in this area and some of them even speak English.

Ometepe Island: The women here are pretty fugly (we´ll get to teh wimmenz overall in a jiff, so don´t worry) so I basically just did adventurer tourist shit here. I climbed La Conception (which is a volcano) and I went to a wildlife park (which was awesome). Also I stayed in a shitty hotel where all my clothes got infested with bedbugs.

Game Venues: My tour guide invited me to go hangout at a beach party with him, there were girls there. But nothing worth putting your dick in. Same goes for the bars and little discos.

Rivas: I spent a Sunday and a Monday at Rivas. Sunday was awesome because I was the only guest in a pretty nice hotel with all female staff. I macked on the hot ones, and felt pretty pimp here, compared to the rest of my trip. Also I did some shopping and stuff for the fam back home.

Bluefields: I liked this place the best. I got my flag here (19 year old Punta Dancer who´d only been with one guy before. I fucked her within 24 hours of meeting her), and Palo de mayo was pretty fun. And Tulu Lulu is a holiday thing right afterwards, so if you come here at the end of May begging of June you get two holidays for one. (Warning I thought that Palo de Mayo would be like Brazil´s Carnival or something, it´s basically like the state fair back in America). Also I went island hopping for fun and went swimming.

Game Venues: Club Cima is a good choice, also Palo de Mayo was sweet. Daygame is good around 4 pm - 5ish on weekdays, because everyone is out shopping.

Women: Nica has some ugly ass women. The high startch diet produces a ton of fatties. Also I don´t think they have good dental care down here, because I saw a ton of toothless women. Managua is prime real estate for game, because it has a more middle class economy (in some spots) and more girls who are in college. Also the women in Managua are more open to talking to foreigners, in a lot of the other places I´d catch a girl checking me out. But when I´d approach her she´d shyly look down and won´t really talk. I didn´t see many tourists (maybe a dozen over my whole trip, and most of the other internation travellers I saw were Red Cross/Aid types).

Money and clothes: Since Nicaragua is poor it´s really cheap to travel down here. I spent almost nothing once I got here (like less than 50 dollars a day, including hotel, sometimes). Also I brought with a couple dress shirts (nothing fancy Armani-Exchange and Nordstrums Rack stuff), pocket squares, and my teal Ralph Lauren sneakers (they cost me $14 on ebay) and girls thought I was a baller. Which was a double edged sword because a lot of them tried getting me to buy them shit and what not (but, other than one drink once, I just told them to fuck off).

Scams and staying Safe: Take taxis everwhere, but ask how much first (one guy tried charging me 15 USD to go six blocks). Also Nica is home to a mountain of pickpockets and con men. The con men guys are retards and there stories suck, just tell them to fuck off (basically you´ll be telling a lot of people to fuck off down here) or ignore them. Also avoid anyone who seems overly friendly. Also the clubs down here are susuage fests and knid of dangerous to be in solo. One time a gaggle of beta male Nicas got pissed that I was dancing with a girl, so they stole our drinks, started cursing at us, and started tossing out threats. I noticed that Nica is kind of racist (which I will let slide, because of all the fucked up shit the U.S. did to it, see supporting the Contra and the 1920´s United Fruit strike), but still it got on my nerves and I didn´t like it at all.

Overall I had a decent, but not great time here. I know that everyone´s expiriences differ, but I´m gonna give Nica a 5/10.
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