For the first time over a year, I'm single. I had been in a long-term relationship with a girl I loved (still do, actually) but a number of factors forced me to end things. We lived together in my apartment, and she moved out just recently. She understood why I had to end it, and she seems to want to reconcile and 'win me back'. She knows I'm not the marriage and kids type, but that doesn't stop her from trying. Lovely girl, but just not going in the same life direction as I. I'm glad to be single again, especially since I'll be seeing this girl frequently -anyway-.
Before we split, I was noticing a lot of women making eye contact with me, checking me out, even opening me outright. This was maybe 2 weeks ago. I had just lost a lot of weight (15 lbs in under 2 months) which put a nice cherry on top of my net 70+ lb total loss. I'm definitely not a 'fat kid' anymore, but sometimes i forget. Watching women check me out and lock eye contact with me was a huge confidence booster, as was learning what body language signals to read.
Now that we've split, I dont seem to have that same confidence. It's not like I'm staring into the abyss; I know I'll be hittin' it again soon...within a week or two. No fundamental facts have changed, only my single status. That should give me more confidence, not less. The opposite is happening. Before, I could game to my heart's content, complacent in the excuse that I couldn't actually take the interaction anywhere. That led to a nice air of "i don't give a shit" and an easy confidence that was quite pleasant. Now I feel an aggressive imperative to Game and Win. The easy confidence is gone, replaced by stress and insecurity.
No facts have changed. I look the same, dress the same, live in the same area. My life is still incredibly interesting and rich, filled with stories and experiences that most men won't have in three lifetimes.
Yet I'm intimidated, frightened, and taking my shit way too seriously. There's no reason I shouldn't be crushing it right now, but I am on a mild life-tilt and my confidence is non-existent. What a fickle beast. I'm not even sure what to do about it, other than to just get after'em and get over myself. I just wanted to vocalize this feeling so perhaps others can learn from it, or perhaps lend some advice.
Before we split, I was noticing a lot of women making eye contact with me, checking me out, even opening me outright. This was maybe 2 weeks ago. I had just lost a lot of weight (15 lbs in under 2 months) which put a nice cherry on top of my net 70+ lb total loss. I'm definitely not a 'fat kid' anymore, but sometimes i forget. Watching women check me out and lock eye contact with me was a huge confidence booster, as was learning what body language signals to read.
Now that we've split, I dont seem to have that same confidence. It's not like I'm staring into the abyss; I know I'll be hittin' it again soon...within a week or two. No fundamental facts have changed, only my single status. That should give me more confidence, not less. The opposite is happening. Before, I could game to my heart's content, complacent in the excuse that I couldn't actually take the interaction anywhere. That led to a nice air of "i don't give a shit" and an easy confidence that was quite pleasant. Now I feel an aggressive imperative to Game and Win. The easy confidence is gone, replaced by stress and insecurity.
No facts have changed. I look the same, dress the same, live in the same area. My life is still incredibly interesting and rich, filled with stories and experiences that most men won't have in three lifetimes.
Yet I'm intimidated, frightened, and taking my shit way too seriously. There's no reason I shouldn't be crushing it right now, but I am on a mild life-tilt and my confidence is non-existent. What a fickle beast. I'm not even sure what to do about it, other than to just get after'em and get over myself. I just wanted to vocalize this feeling so perhaps others can learn from it, or perhaps lend some advice.