If you're an otherwise social, normal person with a decent social circle but can't approach, then it all comes down to pride, ego, and how you view yourself.
My best nights is when I tell myself and my friends I'm gonna fuck up all night and have fun.
Those are also nights when I don't view myself seriously at all. I really don't care about "being smooth" and somehow impressing anyone, and maintaining some preconceived image that others have of me.
My worst nights is when I have too much pride, try to "look cool", focus on a perfect approach, while limiting any disappointment in my own eyes, my friends' eyes, and the rest of the club.
Some of my friends have great social skills, go out a lot, but when we go out to a club, do not approach at all. This is all because they believe a failed approach will break others' people preconceived notion of themselves, ie, their inner view. It's a form of fear. Fear of being unattractive to opposite sex. Fear of not knowing how to talk to women. Fear of losing your value and being made fun by your friends. etc.
I've read a million things on approaching but things really only clicked when I saw a good friend (w/good game, good body language) approach everyone -- seated/standing women and racking up rejection after rejection in the club.
His mentality is that it's all a numbers game, thus allowing him to dismiss rejections as nothing personal. He usually does well at the end.
The reason he can approach is because he's congruent and comfortable with how he views himself and how he moves through life. Nothing more, nothing less.
Your mindset should be "I'm gonna approach every set tonight and its OK if I get rejected by the whole club".
My best approaches were when done alone and not with a wingman.
The first two approaches are the hardest of the night, and serve as warm ups, as they're just there to get you into talkative state.
When was the last time you were rejected? If you don't remember, you're not really living to your potential.
There's a belief that getting rejected (either right away or after quick chat) decreases your "social value", but I disagree. I think it actually increases your value because (a) you're seen talking/hitting on many women (b) you become more talkative as night goes on.
Last weekend I was rejected ~10-12 times before hooking up with a cute girl, would I do it again? I'd probably do it every single night if I could.
Now my buddy was rejected over and over at a club, and I told him, "You did well, you came as a man, and left as a man, and I have respect for that."
You really can't argue against that.
My best nights is when I tell myself and my friends I'm gonna fuck up all night and have fun.
Those are also nights when I don't view myself seriously at all. I really don't care about "being smooth" and somehow impressing anyone, and maintaining some preconceived image that others have of me.
My worst nights is when I have too much pride, try to "look cool", focus on a perfect approach, while limiting any disappointment in my own eyes, my friends' eyes, and the rest of the club.
Some of my friends have great social skills, go out a lot, but when we go out to a club, do not approach at all. This is all because they believe a failed approach will break others' people preconceived notion of themselves, ie, their inner view. It's a form of fear. Fear of being unattractive to opposite sex. Fear of not knowing how to talk to women. Fear of losing your value and being made fun by your friends. etc.
I've read a million things on approaching but things really only clicked when I saw a good friend (w/good game, good body language) approach everyone -- seated/standing women and racking up rejection after rejection in the club.
His mentality is that it's all a numbers game, thus allowing him to dismiss rejections as nothing personal. He usually does well at the end.
The reason he can approach is because he's congruent and comfortable with how he views himself and how he moves through life. Nothing more, nothing less.
Your mindset should be "I'm gonna approach every set tonight and its OK if I get rejected by the whole club".
My best approaches were when done alone and not with a wingman.
The first two approaches are the hardest of the night, and serve as warm ups, as they're just there to get you into talkative state.
When was the last time you were rejected? If you don't remember, you're not really living to your potential.
There's a belief that getting rejected (either right away or after quick chat) decreases your "social value", but I disagree. I think it actually increases your value because (a) you're seen talking/hitting on many women (b) you become more talkative as night goes on.
Last weekend I was rejected ~10-12 times before hooking up with a cute girl, would I do it again? I'd probably do it every single night if I could.
Now my buddy was rejected over and over at a club, and I told him, "You did well, you came as a man, and left as a man, and I have respect for that."
You really can't argue against that.