Quote: (03-23-2015 10:13 AM)WestIndianArchie Wrote:
This post is very problematic.
Is it systemic though?
WIA
Great question. It is endemic isnt it?
Quoting OP
Quote:Quote:
I actually TRY to antagonize her, and like a dog that really likes you, she just sort of seems baffled by it. She doesn't amp up in response.
As guys we start qualifying girls on more than the basic set of criteria over and above those that were good enough for us to settle for an LTR initially. Sure, there are a few important aspects every LTR, but when one's perceived value is much higher than one's girl (hamsterization, irrationally high self esteem, excessive power in a relationship....) its almost as if there is a subconscious need to qualify the girl just because one can get away with it or as a get out of jail card for ending the relationship in the future.
Both partners in an LTR need to rein in the other occasionally (i'd say 65/35 in the guy's favor??), and in lopsided relationships, this lack of control leads to excesses on the part of the "settler" that often manifest themselves in actions seeking to hurt the other one.
I've noticed genuinely decent people show a sadistic streak with their partners (and ending up dissatisfied in the long run)....its almost like a neanderthal switch being flipped on. And this either leads to break ups or their partner rebelling and reigning the other in if the person in control pushes too far.