[Checkmat]

(12-07-2014 06:11 PM)AntiTrace Wrote:  

I guess alpha raise alphas, and betas raise betas. When popular culture shames alpha behavior and promotes beta behavior, it furthers problems. My dad was a good father, generally beta but with some alpha streaks. He didn't do much to promote masculinity in the forms of picking up girls, working out, and fighting, but he sure as hell would have stopped me joining a cheerleader squad.

As a kid with a beta father and being Jewish in a mostly white, country town, I was bullied a lot growing up. I would also get into fights a lot and honestly contributed to a lot of the bullying I received. I was a ripe, RIPE target for a lot of reasons. But I don't think any of that was the big problem. As we've all said already, bullying will always exist.

The problem was that my dad never gave me any guidance on this stuff. At least not that I can remember. I do remember being verbally scolded for fighting frequently. Behavioral problems and stuff like that...But my dad was a soft guy.

He was also a doctor so when I wanted to start boxing at the local gym, he axed that idea real quick. I wrestled for a couple of months in middle school but got bullied on the team as the worst wrestler and told my dad I wanted to quit, so he let me quit. I also quit every single sport I tried growing up---soccer, basketball, ice hockey, and wrestling. Quitting was like second nature to me.

I don't mean to make this a big POOR ME post but I just wanted to add my 2 cents that your dad can make or break you as a boy and eventually into a man.

All throughout growing up I felt like a small raft awash at sea in the middle of an angry storm. I didn't know where I was going, I felt out of control and constantly hammered from all angles.

A dad needs to be like a strong sail to guide you through the storm that is adolescence.

Ref the boy cheerleader who killed himself, I feel like the dad's response should have been something like, "Okay, you want to be on the cheerleading squad? You're going to get resistance from a lot of people on this. If you're going to do it, fucking OWN it and do it 100%. Don't let anyone shake your resolve. I'm not going to stop you from doing this but just know it's going to be very, very difficult."