Quote: (10-11-2014 06:14 PM)robreke Wrote:
Reading this thread came at a good time for me. I'm 44 and recently was dumped, by a 26 year old girl in her last year of law school. I suppose I can be thankful in some sense because she was a lawyer and who wants to be married to one. But, she's the smartest girl, probably, I've ever dated and our conversations were great as was the sex. I'm pretty smart and wasn't able to find many women on my wavelength or intellectual capability who didn't eventually bore me. She left me for her long time ex who she said she wanted to give one more chance ( and who Im sure is closer to her age ). I hate to admit it, but I had oneitis and it hurt ( and still does ) that she left. I've been semi-depressed. I'm dating another girl I'm not nearly as attracted to though who is fun and trying to meet others.
What I think is adding to my sadness is I was looking at myself as a 44 year old man who is "running out of options". After reading many of these posts here, I think I have a self pitying mindset and I need to snap the fuck out. I can still pass for mid , sometimes early, thirties. I'm decent looking and still get looks from younger women from time to time though not like in my 30s. I want to have a family and children and , perhaps subconsciously, viewed this girl who just left me, as a fading chance at a cool attractive young woman I could have a LTR with and even children. Now, she's gone. I left it at " call me if it doesn't work out" and she said she would. I've been thinking about contacting her to trying to convince her to choose me as wrong as this is or I'm hoping it doesn't work out for the same reasons again with her ex and she calls me soon....But I can't wait for that. I've got to move on.
I've actually been bordering on, as I mentioned earlier, depression, and I'm constantly thinking about her. I know this isn't a thread about oneitis or heartbreak and I don't mean to go on with my current issues, but the point is, reading the posts of the members on this thread, especially the older guys who are still slaying young pussy, has given me more hope and determination to change my mindset and try to forget her and move on. It's also given me ideas of things I need to focus my current thoughts and planning on. Instead of constantly thinking about this girl, I need to think about planning a fun trip to Colombia or Ukraine. I need to focus on opening an OK Cupid account, approaching any and all women I find attractive during the daytime ( I don't do night game)
I really do want to have a family one day and, even though I'm approaching my mid 40s, I realize if I develop the right mindset, and set goals and get out there and talk to more women, I will find the right companion.
I also realize I need to hit the weights more. I know things will get better with time and I think by absorbing the wisdom of this thread, I can quicken this process.
First of all, you should kneel and kiss the ground and thank God you didn't marry the lawyer. That's a mistake you can never recover from. She would have had kids and then invented some pretext to divorce you and rip your children away from you, leaving you a shell of a man the rest of your life. I am not joking.
Secondly, having an "intelligent" wife isn't actually all that great in the long run. I had an intelligent "girlfriend" and luckily didn't marry her. She's now a total bitch to the poor slob that did marry her.
I married the ultra-sweet, ultra-emotionally secure girl next door, who by the way is also a knockout. Classic women...amazing intuition, amazing empathy, but zero intellectualism. Wouldn't debate politics if you paid her. She bore me 2 amazing kids, nursed them and raised them, fought like a tiger for them and me.
Forget intellectual women. Forget girlfriends. Focus on finding a WIFE. Totally different things.
No, you don't have to go to Asia to find them. Plenty in the US, you just have to dig past the asshole feminist women and look for the sweet, quiet girls who want to get married. They will not be lawyers, doctors, or any of that shit. They are everywhere. They are perfectly happy to find a 40 year old guy if he's a man, and not a boy.