[Isaac Jordan]

(10-08-2014 03:29 PM)Americas Wrote:  

Although I am a new member on this forum, one thing in particular I have noticed that is lacking in perspective is developing relationship skills somewhere along the lines in your 20s and 30s.

There seems to be a general disdain for "oneitis" but I don't think it's such a black and white issue. I think having a couple LTRs during your younger years is really important for when the time comes to actually settle down later in your life. Why you might ask?

Well...a lot of men on this board do seem to want to settle down at some point, whether that involves having children, getting married, or whatever. But the simple matter is that there are actually two components to game: pickup game (for getting girls) and relationship game (for keeping them around). There seems to be a lot of emphasis on the first on this board and not a lot for the latter. If you have relatively no relationship skills it is going to be very difficult to have a functional marriage for when you want it regardless of the girl you choose to do it with.

If you stay single almost your entirety of your life and just say "one day I'll get married and have kids" then you might be setting yourself up for disaster. Relationships are actually quite complex, and can only really be functional if you have some prior experience with them through trial and error.

I am 26 years old and by no means a relationship expert but I do have a one year+ relationship under my belt and I learned a shitload through that process. I think finding a girl that you really enjoy to be with and having a stable, and especially loyal (if she wants it that way that is), relationship is a really important life experience.

I mean, do you really think you can just crash course a marriage with kids with no prior or significant relationship experience in your repertoire? Women can be wily creatures and they can wear you down to a fraction of a man you once were if you don't know how to manage them in a serious relationship. And if you want children, having a strong and healthy relationship with their mother is truly vital to their development as human beings.

So I guess it's kind of just a throw of caution to the wind for some of you on here; if you find a girl you really like, test out the relationship waters, you might be surprised at how rewarding it can be. Of course, it can also be a total clusterfuck but it's worth the risk for the potential reward.

+1

For a man in his 20s, having an LTR provides an additional benefit in that it frees up his time to chase money.

Here's an example from my own life: I spent my late teens and early twenties taking the red pill, learning game, and cold approaching at bars/clubs/house parties/etc. After a few notches, I met a sweet, conservative, Christian virgin and I've been dating her for almost a year.

In addition to the aforementioned LTR experience, I was able to save thousands of dollars by cooking dinner at home, finding free activities to do during the day, watching Netflix on Saturday nights, etc. Not to mention the money saved on condoms.

This financial buffer allowed me to ditch my cushy corporate gig for a risky entrepreneurial venture that's just now starting to pay off.

I intend to move cities in May and return to being single, but so far the relationship has been an incredible learning experience, and it's helped me focus on setting a financial foundation that should support me for the rest of my life. Ideally, I spend the rest of my 20s working my ass off, so I can travel and game in my 30s and then perhaps find a wife and settle down in my early 40s.

This isn't to say LTRs are better than STRs/ONS. I think there's a balance to be found, and it's beneficial for a man to gain experience from both situations.