Quote: (09-08-2014 12:01 PM)polar Wrote:
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d) Push/pull. For ever 3 'pushes' I noticed on average I will 'pull' once but it will be a strong pull. All she needs is a glimpse into what she would want and a challenge that she can 'conquer' you the same way you 'conquered' her. Usually, I will show a bit of vulnerability and let her know a bit about my sexual past. Never with names, never with people she knows. How would she like it if you did the same?
Noir, this is solid stuff. Can you elaborate, give some examples of how you push pull?
Sure. This is the bread and butter to building sexual tension and spiking her emotions. You will learn to adapt with different girls of different backgrounds. Please note, I have minimal experience with US girls but I have banged them all by being aloof and dismissive. For the Eastern Europeans and Mediterranean girls, more pull and the rest more push.
Generally, there is no recipe for push and pull as you gotta make it relevant for it to be successful. I had difficulty understanding it in the beginning by using verbals but purely non-verbals are enough.
I will push her most of the time simply by imposing my own desires and pushing when they are not met. With a lot of girls in the beginning, they will resist as they don't want to seem easy. I will pull once they allow it and go with it and 'reward' them.
My pull is usually behavioural. Direct body language. The push is non-verbal, body language when annoyed, verbal when being banterous.
The push/pull is initiated within my 'own frame' otherwise it is just her shit testing me to get a response.
Please note, push/pull has a lot to do with you pinging off her behaviour and responses, the better you are doing, the less push is required and the pull automatically happens.
Generally:
- She doesn't like football or know my home town? Push. 'that's okay, we can still be friends. on facebook.'
- She complains about me checking out another girl? Push, with a sly grin and eyebrow raise and then pull her into my space. Spike those emotions.
- She wants me to buy her a drink? Neutral (her 'frame'), I will buy one for both of us, but she must buy shots.
Afterwards when we are seeing each other, I use time as my ally for pushing and pulling.
- When we are out and spending time, whenever she says something interesting, I will pull and continue the discussion and make it sexual slowly.
- I will occasionally push by leaving conversations or excusing myself on high notes. This is when I feel it is appropriate, like she feels as if she is 'in control' of the conversation.
- I will pull when she passes my compliance tests. Sorry to be game-speak but this means her looking after my shit once I leave, remembering important things in my life, helping me take care of errands and problems. A lot of this includes them giving me rides and buying me coffee/cooking for me.
- She messages me something silly, I will push. 70% of the time, I will not respond immediately because I am busy but I will check the message on my homescreen. Let her know I have seen it. Something of value, I will pull and reward.
- We are out and she wears something super sexy. Pull. Most guys will get complex about taking her out and her looking fine as hell. She starts checking out other guys? Push. Start doing the same with other girls.
- I will be vulnerable and to pull her in. A lot of these girls open up to me and they want to be listened to but also to know that they are normal and not fucked up. Being fucked up myself, I will share a few of my own fuck ups and pull them in. Reward for being open with me and setting the tone for bonding etc.
This will create a set of behaviour that is acceptable and not acceptable. sidenote: I almost never answer booty calls and turn my phone off at night.
To summarize, I reward her good behaviour with pulls (the reward is up to you and your relationship with her. A girl of 3 years on off will get a different reward to a recent lay). This creates her wanting to behave 'well' around me. The push is when she does something stupid or un-ordinary or treats me like any other guy. Rarely verbal as that signifies weakness.
Let me know if anything is unclear or contradictory; it is hard to rationalize this into a forum post.