Quote: (08-29-2014 08:45 AM)polar Wrote:
Quote: (08-29-2014 08:17 AM)kinjutsu Wrote:How do you calibrate if the better call is to try to push through LMR or just call it a night and reschedule?
A few of my friends say i'm leaving money on the table doing this with girls. I say my sanity is worth more than average sex with a cute girl.
I'm willing to wait till date 3 or 4 to get the notch because maybe i'm looking for a short term relationship with a quality girl.
You self-select yourself
How many guys would wait an extra date or two for a guaranteed notch?
You can easily go from a "Yes" girl to a "maybe/no" girl if you escalate too quickly when you first meet her.
I've personally made this mistake because i got overconfident.
I've had not escalating cost me second dates and potential bangs before, and I've had to do damage control when I escalated after being pinned for "make him wait" boyfriend material.
Earlier this week, I pulled the "can I use your bathroom" gambit after a date and then tried to burn through the LMR...got her hot and bothered but still got sent home for the night. The girl backed out of plans for tonight. I'm not worried about losing her, just noticing a trend.
This applies to when i met a girl and pulled the number.
I determine the viability of the same day/night bang by how the girl presents herself. Meaning if when i'm texting her she's sending suggestive snaps or references sex at any point then i know i'll push for the bang.
If she's genuinely trying to get to know me a little bit before we actually meet up then i'll shift gears and keep things PG-13 till i'm physically with her. I've turned many "yes" girls into maybe girls when i was experimenting with sexual texting routines.
My conclusion is to never do it. It makes you look desperate and horny. Even if she goes down that path first i wont take the bait. It's a shit test to see how thirsty the guy is.
I use what is basically fuck up avoidance game now and i just act normal with her. My base value is high enough to have attract right off the bat. Since i didn't do much "gaming" to hook her there isn't a strong need to keep the attraction routine going.
If she doesn't flake on the 1st date/meet up i'll usually be able to continue through to the bang or i'll drop her because she has major disqualifiers that i cannot ignore.
This Applies to night game or where the opportunity presents itself to go for the same night lay
I look for the "fuck me" eyes.
Girls in night clubs/bars are easy to determine if they are into you or not. There friends may cock block and do other things but the girl is basically straight forward.
Because of the environment being overly loaded with stimuli you need to use game to maintain attraction and interest on some level (depending on various factors of course) so a "yes" girl slipping to a "maybe" girl can happen quite quickly and you could be unaware of this change until it's too late to be able to do anything about it.
This is where i think the level of game can make or break you. Your ability to read her and dial things up or down depending on her reactions can send her into the arms of some other guy or have her giving you head in the back of the taxi on the way to your place.
A good example of this i witnessed last summer. I was out for a friends b-day party. I knew the majority of the people in the social circle and i wasn't there to pull but celebrate.
A girl in the group was really feeling a guy in our group. I kept my distance to watch the outcome. They were digging each other and dancing/grinding in the dance floor for a long time.
Everyone was sure they were gonna bang that night. After a while i don't see her anymore and i see the guy chatting up some other girls. I go up to him and ask him what's up with the "girl".
He said "she saw an ex-bf that dumped her a few years ago, she went up to him to say hi and they started making out and they left together about 2 minutes later".
Now if this guy would've extracted her to another less public part of the club, left the club with her and grabbed some food or just straight pulled her to his house the night would've ended much differently for him.
I've found that not escalating has cost me notches in the past because i didn't have other parts of my game in order. I'm not saying i purposely won't escalate for some weird ego thing to prove a point but if it doesn't feel right then i won't worry about trying to smoothly touch her arm/hair/lowerback.
I think getting pinned for boyfriend material isn't as bad people make it seem.
What's worse?
Getting pinned down for boyfriend material and basically being guaranteed to see her again or escalating too quickly and scaring the cat and never seeing her again?
A lot of guys think scaring the cat and never seeing her again is a good thing.
I do not subscribe to that way of thinking.
I'm a patient person. Rushing through an interaction with a cute girl is the best way to never learn anything. I've used the "can i use your bathroom" line before with success and failure. The results have been mixed and unexpected. Getting rejected and the girl banging my brains out into a fuck buddy relationship. Or getting the notch and then never hearing from her again. Things never go the way you expect them to go with girls.
Unless you're Dan B. or famous; game/value will be the driving force behind the majority of your bangs. Every guy has those random girls that fall into your lap and are dtf from the get go but those girls are attracted to you on some base level and they are the outliers.
Ideally all the girls you want strictly for sex will already be super sluts and it will be easy. In my experience this is not the case, a lot of the time the types of girls you meet with be the exact opposite of what you're looking for. How many times will you aggressively escalate a girl who from all outward appearances is looking for a boyfriend and wants to wait to have sex? How says you have to date this girl exclusively? With all things being equal if the girl is into you and keeps saying yes to meeting up and doing activities with you eventually sex will happen.
As i got more experienced over the years i've learned to be patient with girls that are genuinely interested in me. The girl who wants to wait and the girl who is dtf at the beginning feel the exact same 'gina tingles for you the only difference is one isn't comfortable having sex so soon while the other is very comfortable having sex the same night.
The world will never run out of clubs sluts to smash so don't worry about that.