Timely thread
My rule on ex's is one and done. They usually drift off into the sunset, and that's that. Find myself not even attracted due to the thought of her being back in the wilderness.
Couple days ago, I got a text from one of my closest friends saying he had saw his recent ex for the first time with the breakup. Even though he was one of the biggest players I know he had gotten caught up in this young chicks web of bs and lies so he was still missing her. Apparently, she was in the passenger with her new guy. Not only did she step out on him, she also broke it off. They had been having problems for a minute now, and from the outside I could see it was only a matter of time. Normally, he talks a good game about being one and done but this one had really integrated herself in his life (met the family and kids) so he was taking it really hard. Since I could see he was "leaning" in the direction of reaching out to her, I had to throw a bucket of ice water over his head to remind him that he was doing himself a disservice by even considering making that move. He knew he was thinking with his heart and not his head. We chopped it up some more and eventually he had to agree although it stung in the present, he would just have to boss up and move forward.
Two themes kept coming up:
A) Going back to an ex whether she cheated or not, just tells her that you are accepting of the behavior that caused the break-up to begin with.
B) After being with another guy, she's really damaged goods in terms from an LTR vantage point. Call me selfish, but that's my true view. In the other words, the girl is dead to me at that point. Too much reprogramming would have to be done, too much investment.
Meanwhile, you could be starting with something fresh with a new one.
My rule on ex's is one and done. They usually drift off into the sunset, and that's that. Find myself not even attracted due to the thought of her being back in the wilderness.
Couple days ago, I got a text from one of my closest friends saying he had saw his recent ex for the first time with the breakup. Even though he was one of the biggest players I know he had gotten caught up in this young chicks web of bs and lies so he was still missing her. Apparently, she was in the passenger with her new guy. Not only did she step out on him, she also broke it off. They had been having problems for a minute now, and from the outside I could see it was only a matter of time. Normally, he talks a good game about being one and done but this one had really integrated herself in his life (met the family and kids) so he was taking it really hard. Since I could see he was "leaning" in the direction of reaching out to her, I had to throw a bucket of ice water over his head to remind him that he was doing himself a disservice by even considering making that move. He knew he was thinking with his heart and not his head. We chopped it up some more and eventually he had to agree although it stung in the present, he would just have to boss up and move forward.
Two themes kept coming up:
A) Going back to an ex whether she cheated or not, just tells her that you are accepting of the behavior that caused the break-up to begin with.
B) After being with another guy, she's really damaged goods in terms from an LTR vantage point. Call me selfish, but that's my true view. In the other words, the girl is dead to me at that point. Too much reprogramming would have to be done, too much investment.
Meanwhile, you could be starting with something fresh with a new one.
MDP