Quote: (08-04-2014 08:59 PM)ZayanZaken Wrote:
Furthermore, I do not do comparisons; that is, I am not telling her in which ways an ex might have been better or worse (with few exceptions on the "worse" side). I can tell her that an ex was very good in something but I won't tell her that she is bad in that same department and should shape up or anything (mainly because it is stupid to ask people to change).
- oh I get that now. Yeah I also dont hide my past from her and that is why I have no problem talking to my exes if I ever see them on the street or occasionally mention to her smth like "My ex works in this shop, I ll ask her if they ever have what we want on sale" she doesnt flip out because of that. I wouldnt tolerate jealousy on her part. On the other hand in general I just dont like talking about my exes with anyone when its not neccessary. Im just not into that, dunno why. and yeah I wanna hear nothing of her past, I know she had one boyfriend before me (I had actually met the guy cause we were all inthe same city) and I know a bit about him but I want to hear nothing else. besides I believe a man can have as many women as he wants before he settles down, while a woman should be as close to a virgin as possible. therefore I would never date a girl who has multiple ex boyfriends that she constantly bumps into when we are together. Im not jealous I just dont want used goods. double standarts but thats how it is.
Quote: (08-04-2014 08:59 PM)ZayanZaken Wrote:
But that means that you have to hide important aspects of your life from the one who is your constant mate. I have said elsewhere in a different connection--extra-LTR relationships--that I think your significant other deserves the truth. Some prefer not to be told but they still understand the fundamental premise, and guess what? When you can really share who you are with a good LTR, and she accepts you as you are, it is simply a very good feeling.
- I fully agree. If I would have been married in the past, had some tragic accident happening to me, had kids from a previous relationship, had anything worth mentioning I would have told her straight up but my biography is kinda clean, there s nothing to tell. I had a few ONS and mini relationships with a bunch of women in Germany, had some LTR and mini relationships in Russia, some were serious but I wasnt ready for marriage so they left. thats all she needs to know and all there is to know. whats the point of talking about the past when in my case there is baiscally no past? as for accepting me as who I am - she already had learned that I am not perfect prince Charming and she accepts it. overall I have simply no interest talking baout the exes (they just dont mean anything to me. I got them on facebook but I never socialize with them cause we have nothing in common). but to each his own. and yes you re right about the woman accepting you as you are as long as you are respectfull to her - a woman should know her place.