Let's take a look at some of Tucker's old stories
"DrunkRex “Did you get my message? I am in Milwaukee with my girlfriend…and there is a midget convention in town this weekend.”
Tucker “I got your fucking message. Come on man, stop playing.”
DrunkRex “Tucker, I am DEAD serious. They are everywhere. It’s like the circus and The Wizard of Oz are in town at the same time. I swear on my life there are hundreds of midgets here.”
[10 second pause]
Tucker “I am on the next flight.”
It took me about 40 seconds to throw clothes into a duffle bag. Another 20 seconds to sprint out the door and onto Park Avenue. I was in a cab to La Guardia within two minutes of getting the call. The TV and lights were still on in my apartment, I’d left the steak I was going to eat for dinner thawing in the sink, and I was still covered in gym sweat...
In the elevator, MidgetPrincess grabbed my butt,
MidgetPrincess “Damn, you got a fine ass.”
Tucker “I do pilates.”
MidgetPrincess “Do you really? I bet you are good in bed.”
There isn’t a better opening than that. Did I come back with a smooth line? Did I woo and charm her, sealing the deal with a suave and debonair retort?
Tucker “I wanna make a mess in yer mouth.”"
http://www.tuckermax.com/stories/the-midget-story/
"DrunkRex “Did you get my message? I am in Milwaukee with my girlfriend…and there is a midget convention in town this weekend.”
Tucker “I got your fucking message. Come on man, stop playing.”
DrunkRex “Tucker, I am DEAD serious. They are everywhere. It’s like the circus and The Wizard of Oz are in town at the same time. I swear on my life there are hundreds of midgets here.”
[10 second pause]
Tucker “I am on the next flight.”
It took me about 40 seconds to throw clothes into a duffle bag. Another 20 seconds to sprint out the door and onto Park Avenue. I was in a cab to La Guardia within two minutes of getting the call. The TV and lights were still on in my apartment, I’d left the steak I was going to eat for dinner thawing in the sink, and I was still covered in gym sweat...
In the elevator, MidgetPrincess grabbed my butt,
MidgetPrincess “Damn, you got a fine ass.”
Tucker “I do pilates.”
MidgetPrincess “Do you really? I bet you are good in bed.”
There isn’t a better opening than that. Did I come back with a smooth line? Did I woo and charm her, sealing the deal with a suave and debonair retort?
Tucker “I wanna make a mess in yer mouth.”"
http://www.tuckermax.com/stories/the-midget-story/