Quote: (05-30-2014 04:21 PM)General Stalin Wrote:
Such is the burden of game and being a man in the contemporary West. We can all agree here that men are the romancers in relationships. We lay on the passion, we make the advances, we are the ones who initiate and drive courtship. It is only a woman's role to-be romanced; to receive and be impressed by these affections and (hopefully) reciprocate.
Hookup culture has forced us to ditch romance in lieu of game and the fast-paced "have it all" lifestyle.
That being said, I know I have definitely been "in love" by my own personal definition and interpretation. Was it a result of "bluebill"/"beta" mindset of my younger years? Maybe, but thats irrelevant - my mind and my heart were in a state of long-lasting passion, reverence, and deep appreciation of a woman who made my life seemingly more enjoyable than it would have been without her. Made me feel like I was a part of something bigger and more fulfilling than anything I could achieve on my own.
I will agree that "love" is very flaccid and fleeting by nature. It's a mixture of lust and lack of perceived options. I actually have a relatable little story for this:
I started banging this girl off of OKC a month or two ago. Despite being easy and a textbook 20-something middle-class white Western girl, she is actually pretty cool. We get along very well, she's sweet, great in bed and down for whatever I want, has some admirable feminine qualities - makes me food, cleans, etc. Became a regular girl and we have honestly bee dating for a solid couple months now. Being romantic, and not one to ignore a good thing, it's hard not to get a case of 'oneitis' in such a situation - which I did. I got lazy at hitting up other girls and gradually became satisfied with just hanging out with and banging her. Saw myself starting to get comfortable, looking forward to out next get together,falling into a sort of bf/gf type groove. Then it happened.
She said something the other day that pissed me off.
This mini-relationship is now at an impasse. Things have been smooth and enjoyable, but she has made a comment that shows me a side of her that I'm not happy with, and I'm not exactly in the market for a girlfriend so I'm not looking to put up with a hard time. I definitely feel a little bit of dread as I get the idea in my head that "if this girl does not make good on smoothing this over with me then I have to move on." It's been a good couple months, and I know there are literally millions of other options out there, but that comfort sets in and attachment runs it's course. It is damn near inevitable.
I have other girls I'm talking to as I type this and have some dates set up for next week, but I still am thinking about this other girl I have been seeing for the past couple months regardless. Abundance or not, attachment is a thing.
True, by no means do I have romantic notions on women; I have experienced the brutality of hypergamy first hand. When I saw all the attractive sweet girls hooking up with drug dealers, kind of popped the bubble of romance that I ever had.
However I would be more than happy to be in a monogamous relationship with a high value woman; and just focus my energy on my ambitions and goals. Rather than having to go for long periods of distraction, gaming multiple plates, or the ONS. After living abroad, the novelty of Western women has just worn off, even if they are good looking. I have spun plates and tried lots of different women. By all means its not a bad life and has improved my life in other aspects. But it just gets boring.
From speaking to other men, who are by no means beta chumps; I gain the same impression. With hook up culture, people become atomic, relationships between materialist, and no longer about a deep connection. Hypergamy and sexual attraction is primitive, although the traditional marriage and monogamous way of life; force both men and women to discover their natures and act in accordance.