Bad-Habit: I don't have the answers to your questions, to be honest. I'm still trying to figure it out myself, and I've hardly been successful at it so far. My solution is to get out and do my own thing (my final day is 4 July -- I just realised the irony of that as it's my own Independence Day).
I think that you and I probably share something in common in that we both just want to get stuff done and done properly. A mistake might be to think that other people approach life in the same way. Perhaps sometimes we are too uptight and rigid about that attitude. The solutions then, might be to either become less uptight and better at playing office politics or simply become one's own man. I suspect the latter is the only worthwhile (and truly possible) option. The former will always be an illusion, and you'll always fail at it because it would be cutting against the grain of your nature to act in such a manner. Maybe what you need to do is gain whatever technical knowledge, connections, capital, etc. you can now, and treat the entire enterprise as such. Set clear objectives for yourself in terms of what you want to achieve, and when, and also have an exit strategy so that you can move on and keep growing. All of the bullshit is an unfortunate accessory. Then, get the hell out and start your own gig instead, or at least move to another company where you will have new opportunities. You can't wallow in it or in the long term it actually becomes who you are.
Sometimes, I feel like a caged tiger. When you see a tiger at the zoo, it's always of one of two types. The first is the one that still hasn't given up yet. It has stress written over every pace it takes up and down its enclosure. The second has given up or been placated and lost the essence of what it means to be a tiger roaming freely in the jungle. Sure, the zoo tiger is well fed and has no concerns at all regarding its own survival, but the free tiger, even if it fails and starves to death, is still free. You need an escape plan. Just having the escape plan in and of itself changes your entire psychology. As I get closer and closer to my own date of exit, I notice my psychological well being changing for the better.
As to what motivates these people, I think a lot of it comes down to the psychology of groups and fitting in. Another part is jealousy. Both are related. The average person achieves so little of worth. The average person is fully aware of that, too. At some deep level, it really irks them that they will never be anything. So, if they will never shine, they want to make sure that others don't either. Most people judge themselves not in absolute terms, but always in relative terms, always according to their peers. It's weird, but to some extent, people would rather earn $50,000/year and have all of their colleagues earn $50,000/year than earn $80,000/year and have all of their colleagues (or even just one) earn $100,000/year. Of course, people will say that that is absurd, but there have been studies done that confirm that people judge themselves relative to others, not in absolute terms. Thus, I think that you just can't be around losers. You can't have them as your peers because they'll always be like crabs in a bucket. They don't care about looking bad in absolute terms. They don't see the world in terms of black or white. They care about you looking good, because that makes them look bad in relative terms. Everything is grey for them.
Another thing that I have to tell myself sometimes (because it's very easy to become really self-centred) is that the person you are dealing with may be a negative dick because he's struggling in his own way, and not being particularly successful at it. I know that there have been people around me who have suffered various outbursts, rants and generally shitty behaviour from me over the past few years. Sometimes, if you can, it's worth taking a step back and having a little empathy. It's something I really struggle with, but if you can be the bigger man in this respect, not only might you transcend your own situation, but you might help the other person transcend his. If you turn everything into two bulls butting heads, then the situation goes nowhere. I remember being a kid and having a couple of teachers who actually stepped back from the situation. Rather than coming down on me like a ton of bricks and making me really oppositional, they basically said that they were just trying to do their jobs and be reasonable. They showed me clemency, and it turned the entire situation around. Likewise, a couple of years ago, I had a student who was really screwing with me in class. Perhaps I picked the right kid or I just a rare moment of brilliance, but I turned that kid into my biggest ally in that class, and because he was a really smart and popular kid, he kept his peers in line. The entire dynamic of that class changed after that. As I say, it was a rare moment of brilliance (or luck), because I normally struggle to not make things a personal battle of egos.
Of course, there is a fine line between seeing things from the other person's point of view and becoming a doormat, but maybe it's worth keeping the above in mind. If you find that it's received badly (i.e. people perceive any outreach as weakness), then it's probably an indication that you truly are dealing with idiots and you're best off getting away from them before they infect your own mindset.
I hope that helps. Like I wrote above, I'm no master at these kinds of things.
I think that you and I probably share something in common in that we both just want to get stuff done and done properly. A mistake might be to think that other people approach life in the same way. Perhaps sometimes we are too uptight and rigid about that attitude. The solutions then, might be to either become less uptight and better at playing office politics or simply become one's own man. I suspect the latter is the only worthwhile (and truly possible) option. The former will always be an illusion, and you'll always fail at it because it would be cutting against the grain of your nature to act in such a manner. Maybe what you need to do is gain whatever technical knowledge, connections, capital, etc. you can now, and treat the entire enterprise as such. Set clear objectives for yourself in terms of what you want to achieve, and when, and also have an exit strategy so that you can move on and keep growing. All of the bullshit is an unfortunate accessory. Then, get the hell out and start your own gig instead, or at least move to another company where you will have new opportunities. You can't wallow in it or in the long term it actually becomes who you are.
Sometimes, I feel like a caged tiger. When you see a tiger at the zoo, it's always of one of two types. The first is the one that still hasn't given up yet. It has stress written over every pace it takes up and down its enclosure. The second has given up or been placated and lost the essence of what it means to be a tiger roaming freely in the jungle. Sure, the zoo tiger is well fed and has no concerns at all regarding its own survival, but the free tiger, even if it fails and starves to death, is still free. You need an escape plan. Just having the escape plan in and of itself changes your entire psychology. As I get closer and closer to my own date of exit, I notice my psychological well being changing for the better.
As to what motivates these people, I think a lot of it comes down to the psychology of groups and fitting in. Another part is jealousy. Both are related. The average person achieves so little of worth. The average person is fully aware of that, too. At some deep level, it really irks them that they will never be anything. So, if they will never shine, they want to make sure that others don't either. Most people judge themselves not in absolute terms, but always in relative terms, always according to their peers. It's weird, but to some extent, people would rather earn $50,000/year and have all of their colleagues earn $50,000/year than earn $80,000/year and have all of their colleagues (or even just one) earn $100,000/year. Of course, people will say that that is absurd, but there have been studies done that confirm that people judge themselves relative to others, not in absolute terms. Thus, I think that you just can't be around losers. You can't have them as your peers because they'll always be like crabs in a bucket. They don't care about looking bad in absolute terms. They don't see the world in terms of black or white. They care about you looking good, because that makes them look bad in relative terms. Everything is grey for them.
Another thing that I have to tell myself sometimes (because it's very easy to become really self-centred) is that the person you are dealing with may be a negative dick because he's struggling in his own way, and not being particularly successful at it. I know that there have been people around me who have suffered various outbursts, rants and generally shitty behaviour from me over the past few years. Sometimes, if you can, it's worth taking a step back and having a little empathy. It's something I really struggle with, but if you can be the bigger man in this respect, not only might you transcend your own situation, but you might help the other person transcend his. If you turn everything into two bulls butting heads, then the situation goes nowhere. I remember being a kid and having a couple of teachers who actually stepped back from the situation. Rather than coming down on me like a ton of bricks and making me really oppositional, they basically said that they were just trying to do their jobs and be reasonable. They showed me clemency, and it turned the entire situation around. Likewise, a couple of years ago, I had a student who was really screwing with me in class. Perhaps I picked the right kid or I just a rare moment of brilliance, but I turned that kid into my biggest ally in that class, and because he was a really smart and popular kid, he kept his peers in line. The entire dynamic of that class changed after that. As I say, it was a rare moment of brilliance (or luck), because I normally struggle to not make things a personal battle of egos.
Of course, there is a fine line between seeing things from the other person's point of view and becoming a doormat, but maybe it's worth keeping the above in mind. If you find that it's received badly (i.e. people perceive any outreach as weakness), then it's probably an indication that you truly are dealing with idiots and you're best off getting away from them before they infect your own mindset.
I hope that helps. Like I wrote above, I'm no master at these kinds of things.