[AneroidOcean]

(01-30-2014 01:57 PM)polymath Wrote:  

As for physical confidence, you need to ( A) work out to get closer to a body that makes you proud, ( B) groom so that you can look attractive while also nonverbally communicating that you take good care of yourself, ( C) have some faith that people aren't lying to you about your looks. Don't try to feign confidence, just work toward improvement.

As for the LTR, it sucks but you just have to keep your head down and do the day to day until you feel good again. Don't let work slip. Don't neglect your exercise regimen. Nobody will want to take care of a man who cannot take care of himself.

I had a huge fear of rejection throughout all of my schooling. I didn't look down hard upon myself, but I was really self-deprecating at times and didn't have that much confidence in my looks. I usually followed other's styles (more fashion/trend type stuff than actual STYLE).

If even guys are admitting that you're attractive, you are. Myself, I'd probably rate myself as above average in looks and I think when I have confidence/charisma that can really push me into being pretty attractive to many girls. I didn't have any idea about this when I was younger. I saw a lot of flaws in myself and cared a lot more. The funny thing is that the less you care and the more you work on looking your best despite your flaws, the less flaws others will perceive in you.

You really do make your own reality. I know you have a shirt or some outfit that makes you look good. You need to ditch a lot more of the rest of your clothes (I bet you have a lot of clothes you have worn for a long time) and get clothes that fit you best and make you look best. When you get ready, take care of your appearance and look the best you can. This will give you confidence.

The other big thing you need to learn is to TAKE A COMPLIMENT. When others compliment you, ENJOY it and genuinely acknowledge it. Don't brush it off or downplay it. There's such a thing as being humble and this is NOT it.

As for a LTR ending. Guess what, you'll have this happen MULTIPLE times in your life (very likely). I've NEVER stopped dating a girl and a year later thought to myself, "Oh man, I really fucked up, I'll never do better than her."

The more women I date, the more I realize how little of the ideal qualities my first girlfriends had. Also, as a man, if you work hard on improving yourself you will continually (to a point) increase your value, so really, any LTR fairly early in life is by definition with less of a woman than you'll be able to achieve later in life.