Quote: (12-06-2013 10:55 PM)BadWolf Wrote:
1. Ok you obviously don't live here. Unlike you guys, I'm not travelling the world to put notches on a bed post, I've been there and done that, it gets boring. I'll tell you another little tidbit that altered my life forever: I was in north China and was going for the health check to get my Z visa, just a routine thing. I was working at a school with three feminist broads and banging one of the 20 something y/o students. Unfortunately, I didn't cover my tracks very well and the student started kissing me and grabbing my a$$ in class. The semi-dyke alliance was unfortunately 'in' with management and started creating a few problems around the school for me. Anyway after getting my healthcheck they said they fvcked up my blood test, so I had to get it done a second time. Then after about a week of waiting, the school took me in to see the doctor. This older woman looked very concerned and explained to my school's HR person that I had something called Hepititis C.
At that time I had no idea what it was, so I was like... "ok just sell me the medicine and I'll clear it up". They said that it was just a small problem and I could still teach my classes and that the medicine came in pill form but it would cost 1000 dollars PER MONTH. They tried to sign me up for this regiment at the hospital but when I consulted another teacher about it he said that the school I was working for said a similar thing to another teacher a few years previous to me. I was pretty devestated... I did some research and found that I had about 10 years to live and that taking the treatment would probably confine me to a wheelchair. I had to cut out drinking, partying, change my diet and that was just to make it to the 10 year mark. Well I did alot of crying, soul searching, I was really pissed at god for doing that, figured he must be an assh0le because I had just paid down my student loan. Went through hell those 6 months, depression, desperation, nobody in the school wanted to touch me and the girl I was seeing, understandably stopped having sex with me and we broke it off.
I went home a broken man. I stayed indoors for about 8 months, learned how to weld cause I figured it was the only job that would keep me away from accidentally passing this on to other people. I pretty much isolated myself from everything and started looking on STD websites for 'damaged' women to date, I was at an all time low. I looked up at the heavens and for some reason the only thing that mattered to me before exiting this Earth was to have a baby with a woman that would accept me with my 'disability'. I was willing to go to Afghanistan or Syria just to find some woman, anyone that would accept this. Then one day my parents convinced me to seek treatment from a hospital at home. I went and got some blood work done in preperation for the treatments. My best friend and I scheduled a time when we were going to start pushing the bucket list: Skydiving, Great White Shark diving, Base jumping (he's an adrenaline junky). I was in night clubs picking fights with guys 10 times my size and at one point I had out 5 guys surround me, but I was riding so high, I didn't care about anything, I must have looked crazy because they backed down.
I remember this like it was yesterday. I was playing fallout, new vegas in my parent's basement. My brother got a phone call and he came barrelling down the stairs, he fell at the bottom and did a half summersault/cartwheel, then ran up with my mother behind him and screamed in my face: "YOU DON'T HAVE IT". I said "What are you talking about???". He said "YOU NEVER HAD IT, THEY LIED TO YOU, that was the doctor on the phone, he wants to speak to you!!!".
Lo and behold the school and the Chinese hospital had infact lied to me, there was never a trace of it in my blood. I have since been through blood tests every year with nothing.
so to answer your first question: I wanted to go back to China to finish what I started, to look for a wife. I figured the North was an isolated incident, boy was I wrong... the second day on my return to China, I wanted to leave and go home, unfortunately it was the first day that I arrived that I met the girl I would end up marrying, and if there is such a thing as a soul mate or destiny then it was her I was meant to meet.
2. There is a thing in China called FACE and its a complicated thing. The Chinese have the Korean's automatic bestfriend syndrome if you are a white foreigner. They compliment you and tell you all sorts of wonderful things TO YOUR FACE but behind closed doors they go on about how you are a foreign dog, mogwai, loser etc etc. Because of the fairly racist nature of the Chinese, a black guy that speaks the language is looked at as a talking dog, they don't even bother with pleasantries, they will tell black people that they smell bad and shun them without a second thought. Same for fat people, they'll just say, 'ugh so fat and ugly' and walk away. At first I thought China was great and all my students loved me because they kept complimenting me every day and telling me how great I was. Then I got a report from the school that said my students had complained bitterly and I needed to change something or other. Chinese are the most 2 faced culture on the planet. They will butter you up and then tear you down. Secondly, I think your friends were probably talking to fairly educated individuals not typical street Chinese and probably women at that. The Chinese women are nuts for blood mixing. They think that a white/chinese child is the most beautiful thing in the world. I've had almost all my students (the adults) hit on me and tell me that they would like a mixed baby 'so beautiful so beautiful'. Then again, that may have been face, you can never tell here.
3. If I were you, I would be very careful in your assessment of your FEMALE friend who loves it here. If a woman loves it here there is a strong possibility that she is nuts or hasn't had time to fully aclimatize to China. I have yet to meet 1 foregin female from a first world country who hasn't gone bonkers, become a drug addict, fat or some other horrible thing. Usually the women are the biggest critics of China because they know that the foreign guys are here for Chinese poon. Does she have a boyfriend that she is trying to lock down here? If not, something is seriously wrong with your friend's brain.
4. Don't put this elevator life bvllshit on me ok, I've been teaching for 10 years in several different countries, it's what I like to do. I'm not really considered an 'expat', that title is resevered for non teachers who are making in a month, what I make in a year. Also if you live the expat life here, you are very likely to attract the GOLD DIGGERS, if you are here to have BANGS and get notches, then thats your thing, I'm not. I just want to enjoy life, play some video games and relax. I don't know business and to be honest I don't really care about that sh1t either.
5. Well if OP wants to be an eternal bachelor good for him. I don't and I'm speaking from personal experience and all of my knowledge is based on first hand accounts. I've married here and now as is customary in China, she wants a baby before she hits 25, so do I for that matter so if you want to know what life is like for a family man then I'm telling you. When I first got here, I was a single guy and life was a bit different but if you know anything about China you know THAT phase only lasts a few months. Chinese girls are very clingy and they play for keeps. My wife had her brother come out to meet me, to 'solidify' things when we first moved in together, he brought a Chinese corn shucker, which is kind of like a knife that curves around your knuckles. This is the kind of guy that drops bricks on people's heads when they get out of line. So there's that.
If OP is going to setup here longterm, the only real way to do that is to marry. Chinese girls are not like Thai women or Western women, thats what makes them great, they want very much to settle down and have a baby. If you marry the right one, they will support you and stand by you in your times of need. They will be there at your worst times, they will clean up after you and haul you on their back to the hospital when no one else will touch you. They will share everything with you even if they only have 300 rmb in their account. They wear their hearts on their sleeves but you won't find girls like that at an Expat bar or born in a 1st tier city. For the majority of the population here, there is no medical care, dental, there isn't even an assurance that you are safe from criminals. Your world could be changed in an instant and you are powerless to do anything about it. Girls that are worth marrying are the ones who grew up in these poverty conditions, know what its like to go hungry for weeks and know the REALITY of life. That kind of reality only exists in a few countries in the world, one of them is CHINA.
THAT is the biggest attraction to China, yeah I point out the negatives because if you look at all the second hand advice around this forum, its from guys who DON'T LIVE HERE and DON'T WORK HERE. It's mostly from guys who come here for a few months and think life in China is always a party. They don't get to know the people or the way of life and they listen to their friends who are all doing the same. My uncle married a Chinese girl about 15 years ago, he was an executive. He gave all his money to his kids and now lives in a country house way in the interior with his wife and they sell watermelons off a donkey. The pinnacle of life for some people is not getting flags in a country or money in a bank account, its about being able to live every day the way you want. If you don't experience the rat race in China as an ordinary rat, you'll never understand the plight of the majority and you'll never be able to connect with the people on the ground level. You don't need language to do that, you need an understanding of how they think. You won't see this if you are always dressed in a suit and frequenting expensive areas.
Yeah you can have bottle service at a night club and get all the ladies there until someone tells you "oh btw, all these people are rich kids, mob bosses, gays and prostitutes, what you thought regular people went to nightclubs in China!?!?!". But you wouldn't know that living the 'life'. Regular Chinese do not go to eat at pizza hut, drink starbucks coffees, hang out at nightclubs, those places are reserved for the rich folks. So if OP is looking for a rich spoiled girl, he will surely find one hanging around there.
I am the one advocating marriage and children and I am advocating it with women that support and stand by their men.
I like to think my posts are informative, I don't give a fvck if you think I'm an arrogant prick. I'm here for my wife only and she is worth everything I endure. She was there when I should have died and I will be there for her until I do.
Awesome. AAA post
What do you recommend for good careers in China? Is teaching long term a viable solution? Do you plan on opening your own school?