[Excelsior]

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Mainstream quote-unquote “men’s sites” dole out diluted, or outright useless, advice — stuff like “Top 10 Flowers to Bring Your Girlfriend after She Cheats on You with Another Man.”

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A fair amount of my hate mail includes plain-and-simple (and probably illegal) threats of graphic violence and mutilation. The closings tend to fall into one of very few categories: speculation on my penis size, inferences about my relationship with my mother, theories that I live in a basement, and suggestions that I’m probably a virgin. Paradoxically, I’m often called in a rapist in the very same breath.

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How did you get started with Return Of Kings?
T: Roosh V, the publisher, contacted me directly and asked me if I’d be interested in an exciting new project he was developing. I was all over it like a girl on an iPhone.

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I’m in the midst of what we call in the business “crushing ass on the regular.” In everyday terms, that means “dating.”

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What is your day-to-day like at Return Of Kings?
T: We have a penthouse office in a nice building in the city. It overlooks a golf course and some trendy shops. The boss has a thing where one of us is responsible for bringing in bagels and schmear every morning, and we usually sit around munching on those while we discuss strategy. We then go to our individual offices to “concept,” which really just means goofing off on the Internet until noon, when we go to lunch. I, and a few of the guys, go to the same Indian restaurant practically every day, despite the fact that it gives me stomach woes like 25 percent of the time and the owner’s son pesters us for “interracial” dating advice every time.