This post is about frame control and inevitably power.
I need some input on this one: a chick I really mismanaged not applying the good old two strikes rule when she proved to be flaky and playing hard to get. I think I am done with her, but I want feedback to get perspective on the whole experience.
FYI She is one of 5 that I am gaming right now. Probably the hottest (8,5) but I have no qualms about moving on.
About a month ago this chick suggested to go out for dinner out of nowhere (I dont know her well at all and we basically are just friends on facebook as I gamed her last year). Quite a surprise how out of a totally random facebook comment on her wall she basically asked me out. Anyway turns out she broke up with her bfriend a few weeks earlier. Everything started to make sense. Obviously I didnt agree on dinner but brought her out to get drinks. Drinks went well, kiss closed her and had a good time - she gave me all the right sexual inputs (blatantly admitting she loves sex).
However, my red flags were up as she has a fucked up and not existent relationship with her parents (divorced parents and not in touch with either one of them). She is fun but scattered.
Most importantly, she plays games: she responds to every text message or phone call I send/make....BUT every single time it takes her between 6 hours (rarely) to 1 day (often). Seriously, she never responds promptly, ever.
I felt things started to fizzle when she went out of town 3 times in the following 3 weeks making impossible to see her. Still, I kept her on my radar and surprisingly she kept being slow but consistent in returning calls/texts. In the end when she called back we agreed to a 2nd date, even though we had zero momentum.
Not surprisingly though, she rescheduled the 2nd date with one day notice using some (legit) work excuse. We rescheduled for the following week.
Then last week she rescheduled again when I texted her to confirm. And this time the excuse was so lame (work stuff to catch up with and being exhausted after being out of town so often in the last 3 weeks. LOL. Also she made no attempt to reschedule). In other words it was a clear indicator of disinterest and, most importantly, of lack of respect for my time. So I decided to cut my losses and move on.
I texted her back "I am surprised you arent coming out tonight, but that's ok ;-). Either way it was great meeting you. You have a refreshing spontaneous way about you. Remember to hit that restaurant we spoke about. You wont regret it! Take care. Me". Not harsh, but definite. A text I use often when I walk away. It makes me be consistent to my frame of being friendly, confident but not willing to waste my time. And it leaves the door open if the girl in question wants to put some efforts into restarting things (it worked in the past).
Surprisingly, what never happened before happened, she texts back in 1 sec! She asks why I said so, as it sounded like I wasnt going to see her again (she is clever, right? ;-)) She suggested to reschedule drinks.
That was 5 days ago. I havent responded to her. Was I too quick to call it off as - despite being dysfunctional - she might still be interested?
or do you approve cutting her off, as she will probably just restart her late response/cancellation game to get validation in the post-boyfriend aftermath?
Facts: Last time I have seen her and kissed was a month ago. An eternity.
My priority: I dont want to waste time on flaky girls.
I just dont care about the lay if the girl in question is high maintenance/drama. I got enough alternatives and prefer focus on other chicks. Plus, the combo fucked-up family+self absorbed flaky never led anywhere according to my previous experiences. I usually just put a smile on my face and politely disengage focusing on my other targets.
I want to hear your thoughts though. Legit to move on?
Or should I re-open the case, circle back and ping her to see if she corrects her behavior now that she saw I was ready to walk?
I need some input on this one: a chick I really mismanaged not applying the good old two strikes rule when she proved to be flaky and playing hard to get. I think I am done with her, but I want feedback to get perspective on the whole experience.
FYI She is one of 5 that I am gaming right now. Probably the hottest (8,5) but I have no qualms about moving on.
About a month ago this chick suggested to go out for dinner out of nowhere (I dont know her well at all and we basically are just friends on facebook as I gamed her last year). Quite a surprise how out of a totally random facebook comment on her wall she basically asked me out. Anyway turns out she broke up with her bfriend a few weeks earlier. Everything started to make sense. Obviously I didnt agree on dinner but brought her out to get drinks. Drinks went well, kiss closed her and had a good time - she gave me all the right sexual inputs (blatantly admitting she loves sex).
However, my red flags were up as she has a fucked up and not existent relationship with her parents (divorced parents and not in touch with either one of them). She is fun but scattered.
Most importantly, she plays games: she responds to every text message or phone call I send/make....BUT every single time it takes her between 6 hours (rarely) to 1 day (often). Seriously, she never responds promptly, ever.
I felt things started to fizzle when she went out of town 3 times in the following 3 weeks making impossible to see her. Still, I kept her on my radar and surprisingly she kept being slow but consistent in returning calls/texts. In the end when she called back we agreed to a 2nd date, even though we had zero momentum.
Not surprisingly though, she rescheduled the 2nd date with one day notice using some (legit) work excuse. We rescheduled for the following week.
Then last week she rescheduled again when I texted her to confirm. And this time the excuse was so lame (work stuff to catch up with and being exhausted after being out of town so often in the last 3 weeks. LOL. Also she made no attempt to reschedule). In other words it was a clear indicator of disinterest and, most importantly, of lack of respect for my time. So I decided to cut my losses and move on.
I texted her back "I am surprised you arent coming out tonight, but that's ok ;-). Either way it was great meeting you. You have a refreshing spontaneous way about you. Remember to hit that restaurant we spoke about. You wont regret it! Take care. Me". Not harsh, but definite. A text I use often when I walk away. It makes me be consistent to my frame of being friendly, confident but not willing to waste my time. And it leaves the door open if the girl in question wants to put some efforts into restarting things (it worked in the past).
Surprisingly, what never happened before happened, she texts back in 1 sec! She asks why I said so, as it sounded like I wasnt going to see her again (she is clever, right? ;-)) She suggested to reschedule drinks.
That was 5 days ago. I havent responded to her. Was I too quick to call it off as - despite being dysfunctional - she might still be interested?
or do you approve cutting her off, as she will probably just restart her late response/cancellation game to get validation in the post-boyfriend aftermath?
Facts: Last time I have seen her and kissed was a month ago. An eternity.
My priority: I dont want to waste time on flaky girls.
I just dont care about the lay if the girl in question is high maintenance/drama. I got enough alternatives and prefer focus on other chicks. Plus, the combo fucked-up family+self absorbed flaky never led anywhere according to my previous experiences. I usually just put a smile on my face and politely disengage focusing on my other targets.
I want to hear your thoughts though. Legit to move on?
Or should I re-open the case, circle back and ping her to see if she corrects her behavior now that she saw I was ready to walk?