Quote: (03-16-2013 12:56 PM)gandt Wrote:
Quote: (03-15-2013 02:15 PM)MrXY Wrote:
Excellent post OP- this is an area of higher level game which is rather refined and I think a lot of guys don't quite get it.
I handle myself the same way- I communicate my sexual intentions through flirting, kino, eye contact, body language and demeanor and a minimal amount of making out while at the same time subtly and indirectly letting her know that I am a man who is nonjudgmental, easygoing and rather lax in his moral views. Girls are sensitive to how men view them; they will pick up on this without difficulty and a sort of silent understanding is reached. Trust is built and she will feel that her "reputation" to use an old term, will not be damaged by a dalliance with you.
As OP also points out, making her feel safe is important-both in the physical sense-that you are not going to harm her, and in the sense that you are not going to become weird after the encounter. You have to present an image-sexual, cool, nonjudgmental, badboyish- so that she knows, at least in the back of her mind, that she can safely release her inner slut with you
Man, great analysis and it's good to see an actual example of someone who incorporates this into their game. It seems like you have struck the perfect balance between ensuring her safety and taking on the bad boy role....
Also, as MR.XY says, if you don't have the congruent behaviour to go along with a line that says "I don't judge girls for their sexual choices" it wont even matter what comes out of your mouth. The girl will sense it immediately and you will become "creepy".
Two good posts here by OP and Mr. XY. I think the main way you escalate and act congruent and, most importantly, have her 'feel safe,' is to continue to bounce from venue to venue. Take her multiple places - bars or clubs where the doorman knows you, at least one bartender knows you, the waitresses know you. Go to at least 2 places like this, although you can always try a new bar along the way too.
This shows her so many things - you're a confident man, you obtain social proof, she sees you with other girls, those girls will likely talk you up when you are using the restroom, etc, and most importantly, the time distortion effect that occurs over the course of the night when you two are drinking at several venues. This allows you to escalate easily with kino, she will no longer be afraid that you are either clingy or an ax murderer, and gives you lots of chances to demonstrate you're a non-judgemental guy who won't tell everyone when she bangs you. Over the course of the nite your hand goes from touching her arm, to the small of her back at the next bar, to her ass/thighs, to deep kissing, to sealing the deal.
Endgame: I honestly think every girl likes having her hair pulled, some dirty talk, and light slapping of ass/light choking. I have been shocked to discover this over time -- because every girl is different, right?
But if you're a confident man with good social proof, she is going to be very happy to let her inner slut out in your bedroom or hers. Or in the cab on the way home. They will almost beg for you to take control of them, to dominate them. It makes them feel *less* slutty the next day.