Here is another good metaphor - You run into some friends at a bar, they invite you to sit at a table. There is a hot girl sitting with them, you have great rapport and a lot in common. You two really click on multiple levels. She gives you her number and then gets up to leave. As she rises from the table, you are horrified to see that it's like an iceberg rising from the sea - so much below the surface. Just a gigantic gunt that was concealed by the table. All your enthusiasm for the interaction turns to horror as you realize you've been flirting with a fatty in (front of your friends!) for an hour.
That's how SHE feels when she discovers chinks in the armor of a recovering beta.
That's how SHE feels when she discovers chinks in the armor of a recovering beta.