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(12-07-2012 10:28 PM)HiFlo Wrote:  

This has been killing me recently. I live in a small city in Louisiana where the appropriate male clothes to wear is a camoflauge hunting jacket, carhart jeans, and heavy duty boots. Heaven forbid you dress contemporarily, not even metrosexual, but that you gave more than 0.1 second to dressing cool & getting a cool hairstyle and wear fitted modern clothes with an athletic build.

All the time people - mixed groups, all-male, all-female - will look at me and start gossiping "he's gay." I dont want to defend myself here and I'm not gonna about bodylanguage, not looking faggoty, etc - it's the culture I live in: you're an outsider and probably gay if you dont look like you're about to go on a fucking duck hunting trip. Mind you, I didn't grow up here so I'm not an insider, but I dress normal/hip for anyplace other than a conservative southern redneck small city.

I know this shouldn't bother me, but it does. If I'm in a good state either doing day or nightgame and my eagle ears pick up on this gossip, it kills me state and my mood goes down the gutter. I've tried playing mind games with myself saying in my head, "those chicks are fat what the fuck do they know" or telling myself im awesome: "this is just like johnny rotten moving to pasadena California and fucking loving it cause it was so odd (yeah, that's a true story BTW)" Nothing helps and I cant pick my state up off the ground. I still feel my spine keeling over and it doesn't straighten up.

Any tips other than move someplace else? How do I just not give a fuck about what people think & gossip about me? It really does kill my damn self-esteem.

gracias...

When reading this I instantly thought about your body language.

How are you conveying yourself? I dress questionable, I wear a lot of florescent dress shirts, classy dress pants and always have new shoes or boots on.

However, my body language is manly. I always have my chest puffed, walk like my dick is slapping between my legs and always take up space wherever I choose to sit. So even if men are jealous/uncomfortable with my dress style, women know from the get go that I am a man (not a homosexual) who happens to dress nice.

I meet a lot of dudes who are new to game, and when they wear clothes they are not usually comfortable in, flashy shit especially, you can tell they are more reserved because they are uncomfortable about what people think about them in them, and they end up seeming really closed in. They act almost female like in their new clothes, and that makes you look like a homosexual.

I work with rough and tough construction gentlemen, and whenever we are drinking outside of work they dress in country-boy type of gear, and I'm always dressed in my usual flashy shit. While they initially comment how I am a pretty boy, the fact that I carry myself like a man and act like one usually stops that conversation right there.