I think the larger problem is how you behave when you're drunk. And you said yourself, you're an angry drunk - that's a problem. And you don't remember what you do when extremely drunk. Another problem. She plays an active part in that she enjoys aggression to an extent - you say you often playfight. It's kind of typical for chicks that like to engage in rough play to all of a sudden whine when they get hit a little too hard. I think the solution is curtailing your drinking because of the effect it has on your behavior and personality.
"The best kind of pride is that which compels a man to do his best when no one is watching."