[quote] (09-21-2012 06:52 PM)smashley Wrote:
[quote='rationalize_this' pid='258615' dateline='1346097037']
After getting countless numbers, and dealing with flake after flake after flake (I'm talking about double booking multiple days in a row and still struggling to get a single chica to commit) I've stumbled upon a strategy that has helped me reduce the likelihood of the flake, while at the same time reducing time investment.
1) Go out weeknights- This may not be possible for those living in smaller cities, but I've consistently found that girls I've met out during the week have significantly less chance of flaking. Think of it this way: Two girls go out on a wednesday for some wine and to catch up. They end up meeting an interesting, well dressed, articulate guy who can carry a conversation and is entertaining as well. They did not go out expecting to meet anyone, it just happened. Tribute to the "Sweep her off her feet theory".
Contrast this with two girls that go out on a weekend night, looking to find a guy, screening each guy that approaches them, and dealing with loud, drunk, boisterous, overly agressive douchebags.
2) Time Investment- You're going to have to put in the time here, there's no way around it, if you know a way please tell me! In the past few months i've fallen into the trap of screening the girl initially, and if within the first 10 minutes I can determine she is not going to sleep with me that night, I number close and move on. DO NOT DO THIS. You're going to have to spend 30-45 minimum to protect against the future flake.
3) HINT at the date before the number close- This has worked wonders for me. This is usually somewhere toward the end of the rapport stage where you are probing her interests. By this time you should minimum know her favorite drink, what style of hangout (bar/lounge) she likes, some type of hobby of hers, etc. Suggest a spot you know that falls under all these categories and is logistically friendly and say you'll take her there/show her it sometime.
This next part is crucial. MONITOR HER REACTION. Not just what she says, but her face, body language as well.
In my experience 3 outcomes will arise at this point.
a)She looks you in the eyes, smiles, faces toward you, puts her hand on your leg, shoulder and says "sure i'd love to". (you're in). With this outcome I usually say great, change the subject, and try to go deeper in rapport and possibly kiss close. If you feel you can't get the kiss close, number close, (if she hasn't asked for you number already) and stay with her for another 10 minutes. DO NOT EJECT as soon as you get the number.
b) She looks you in the eyes, hesitates, or quickly responds "yeah, sounds good" but with minimal excitement, and somewhat nonchalance. As of now, you're flake rate if you call this girl will be 50% if not more. Here's where you have to hook her, raise the tip of the rod (sorry for the fishing analogy). Quickly change the subject, dropping your strongest piece of bait. If you do it right, or strike with some dynamic that she relates with you'll actually see her face/demeanor change. If you can't do this within 10 minutes. Number close and leave her, expect the flake.
c) She looks away, hesistates, and says "yeah, i'd like that, but..."
usually inserting some work schedule or activity thats been keeping her hamster busy in the meantime. This is a 75% flake rate as of now. I've tried two things when i get this response. 1) Turn kind of asshole and smirking say something to the effect of "Don't worry about it, i've got a hot date with my grandma that night instead." continuing the interaction by dodging her questions and forcing her to revalidate herself.
OR
2) Go Don Draper stone cold frame: "I have a life as well, and i spend time like my money, I don't have it to waste." Here's my card, if you want to go out, you can call me, if not, good luck with everything- (smile)"
I've had more success with 1, but i've had one or two girls call me using number 2 approach.
4) At the end of the interaction, I tell her I'll CALL HER on so and so day and set details. I've even done this the next day. Yeah I know I will get slack from others with the wait two day rule etc., but especially if its a weeknight you meet her, if you wait until after the
weekend, the momentum you have created is likely lost.
5) CALL HER- if she answers, i have yet to have a girl flake that I get on the phone. Make sure you do send some type of confirmation text the day of however such as "running late, blah blah" etc.
If anyone else has input to reduce flaking in cities like Miami where these girls are constantly propositioned to go on this boat, to this club, etc. I'm all ears. Hope this helped somewhat.[/quote]
Where do you normally plan your dates??? Do you find any correlation to flaking to planning the dates near their place vs near your place? i.e. less work for them to go? I am still experimenting with this. A lot of the girls i meet are in the 15-30 minute away range no traffic... I want them near me, but i find it hard getting them to me unless we've already had one date.
[quote='rationalize_this' pid='258615' dateline='1346097037']
After getting countless numbers, and dealing with flake after flake after flake (I'm talking about double booking multiple days in a row and still struggling to get a single chica to commit) I've stumbled upon a strategy that has helped me reduce the likelihood of the flake, while at the same time reducing time investment.
1) Go out weeknights- This may not be possible for those living in smaller cities, but I've consistently found that girls I've met out during the week have significantly less chance of flaking. Think of it this way: Two girls go out on a wednesday for some wine and to catch up. They end up meeting an interesting, well dressed, articulate guy who can carry a conversation and is entertaining as well. They did not go out expecting to meet anyone, it just happened. Tribute to the "Sweep her off her feet theory".
Contrast this with two girls that go out on a weekend night, looking to find a guy, screening each guy that approaches them, and dealing with loud, drunk, boisterous, overly agressive douchebags.
2) Time Investment- You're going to have to put in the time here, there's no way around it, if you know a way please tell me! In the past few months i've fallen into the trap of screening the girl initially, and if within the first 10 minutes I can determine she is not going to sleep with me that night, I number close and move on. DO NOT DO THIS. You're going to have to spend 30-45 minimum to protect against the future flake.
3) HINT at the date before the number close- This has worked wonders for me. This is usually somewhere toward the end of the rapport stage where you are probing her interests. By this time you should minimum know her favorite drink, what style of hangout (bar/lounge) she likes, some type of hobby of hers, etc. Suggest a spot you know that falls under all these categories and is logistically friendly and say you'll take her there/show her it sometime.
This next part is crucial. MONITOR HER REACTION. Not just what she says, but her face, body language as well.
In my experience 3 outcomes will arise at this point.
a)She looks you in the eyes, smiles, faces toward you, puts her hand on your leg, shoulder and says "sure i'd love to". (you're in). With this outcome I usually say great, change the subject, and try to go deeper in rapport and possibly kiss close. If you feel you can't get the kiss close, number close, (if she hasn't asked for you number already) and stay with her for another 10 minutes. DO NOT EJECT as soon as you get the number.
b) She looks you in the eyes, hesitates, or quickly responds "yeah, sounds good" but with minimal excitement, and somewhat nonchalance. As of now, you're flake rate if you call this girl will be 50% if not more. Here's where you have to hook her, raise the tip of the rod (sorry for the fishing analogy). Quickly change the subject, dropping your strongest piece of bait. If you do it right, or strike with some dynamic that she relates with you'll actually see her face/demeanor change. If you can't do this within 10 minutes. Number close and leave her, expect the flake.
c) She looks away, hesistates, and says "yeah, i'd like that, but..."
usually inserting some work schedule or activity thats been keeping her hamster busy in the meantime. This is a 75% flake rate as of now. I've tried two things when i get this response. 1) Turn kind of asshole and smirking say something to the effect of "Don't worry about it, i've got a hot date with my grandma that night instead." continuing the interaction by dodging her questions and forcing her to revalidate herself.
OR
2) Go Don Draper stone cold frame: "I have a life as well, and i spend time like my money, I don't have it to waste." Here's my card, if you want to go out, you can call me, if not, good luck with everything- (smile)"
I've had more success with 1, but i've had one or two girls call me using number 2 approach.
4) At the end of the interaction, I tell her I'll CALL HER on so and so day and set details. I've even done this the next day. Yeah I know I will get slack from others with the wait two day rule etc., but especially if its a weeknight you meet her, if you wait until after the
weekend, the momentum you have created is likely lost.
5) CALL HER- if she answers, i have yet to have a girl flake that I get on the phone. Make sure you do send some type of confirmation text the day of however such as "running late, blah blah" etc.
If anyone else has input to reduce flaking in cities like Miami where these girls are constantly propositioned to go on this boat, to this club, etc. I'm all ears. Hope this helped somewhat.[/quote]
Where do you normally plan your dates??? Do you find any correlation to flaking to planning the dates near their place vs near your place? i.e. less work for them to go? I am still experimenting with this. A lot of the girls i meet are in the 15-30 minute away range no traffic... I want them near me, but i find it hard getting them to me unless we've already had one date.