AB- your post resonated with me to a degree that I felt as though my skin was electric and my hair stood up.
During my teen years and younger college years as an atheist/agnostic - I would have laughed if you told me I would have a translated Syriac/Aramaic bible on my nightstand.
In 2012, on the brink of death during a botched medical procedure I saw my future life. My unknown future wife and children were in a home of mine I had never seen before. I remember a pool being in the backyard, the L shaped couch in the corner, the white dress shirt I was wearing, my 3 children - but what I remember most was the love I felt. I remember telling God that if he believes it's my time then he can take me but if I have a choice I want to stay because I believe it is not yet my time.
Following this my life fell apart completely - even in ways I had no control over. Things almost seeming unrelated to me were also going wrong and affecting my life. Looking back it was all a blessing. I was on the path for a life that I was not meant for.
During this time frame-
I had a major disc herniation that was making it so painful I could not walk. My spine and legs were on fire. I required lower back surgery.
My neck and upper brachial plexus area had multiple injuries and stiffened up to the point that my collarbone shifted causing a whole host of neck issues. Caused a lot of issues with head and chest "zaps."
My nervous system went insane and although I've learned to control it a bit it was nearly unbearable at that point.
I still deal with all these things but a lot more gracefully. It has truly humbled me in ways I cannot even begin to describe.
During my teen years and younger college years as an atheist/agnostic - I would have laughed if you told me I would have a translated Syriac/Aramaic bible on my nightstand.
In 2012, on the brink of death during a botched medical procedure I saw my future life. My unknown future wife and children were in a home of mine I had never seen before. I remember a pool being in the backyard, the L shaped couch in the corner, the white dress shirt I was wearing, my 3 children - but what I remember most was the love I felt. I remember telling God that if he believes it's my time then he can take me but if I have a choice I want to stay because I believe it is not yet my time.
Following this my life fell apart completely - even in ways I had no control over. Things almost seeming unrelated to me were also going wrong and affecting my life. Looking back it was all a blessing. I was on the path for a life that I was not meant for.
During this time frame-
I had a major disc herniation that was making it so painful I could not walk. My spine and legs were on fire. I required lower back surgery.
My neck and upper brachial plexus area had multiple injuries and stiffened up to the point that my collarbone shifted causing a whole host of neck issues. Caused a lot of issues with head and chest "zaps."
My nervous system went insane and although I've learned to control it a bit it was nearly unbearable at that point.
I still deal with all these things but a lot more gracefully. It has truly humbled me in ways I cannot even begin to describe.