Quote: (03-17-2019 05:51 PM)Checkmat Wrote:
Cleanslate, she is VERY insecure. She is only 21, I started dating her when she was 20 (I’m 30). I am her first love and first romantic relationship. She’s been pumped and dumped a few times in the past.
She knows that she loves me more than I love her. The power dynamic is about 75/25. She also gets jealous if I get a text from a female friend or don’t give her enough attention. She is pretty needy, and I wonder if she will mature more as she ages. I don’t know.
I’ll likely be moving for a career change this or next year anyway. Probably an expiration date on the LTR.
In the mean time, I don’t want to get cucked or cheated on. This co-worker thing is a red flag to me but Im trying to figure out if I should be as angry as I was, in that moment.
This strongly confirms my suspicion that her drama bomb likely came from a place of insecurity and a feeling of being unwanted. This is why I took issue with Soyboy's theory that it is just her promiscuous nature that should be silently ignored and recorded in your diary. It sounds like there were clear warning signs that she needed more reassurance and comfort in the relationship.
It's easy to sit back and let the power chips stack in front of you when someone is really in love with you, but if you let things become too polarized the anxiety and fear will become intolerable over time and she will act out immaturely or start looking for a new guy. Your slow drip dread game (being too aloof and letting her find out about texts from other girls etc) was apparently seen and raised with "I might let Chad from the office take me out if you don't do more to make me feel secure" dread game. It doesn't sound like her read on the relationship is too far off if you're planning an exit in the near future.