Quote: (03-17-2019 05:01 PM)No More Mr. Soy Boy Wrote:
Quote: (03-17-2019 04:06 PM)jcardial Wrote:
No offense to NMMRSB, but given what he has recently posted he doesn't have enough experience or game to be giving advice to others. His advice to withhold your opinion/thoughts in this scenario isn't good. Referencing Dr. Phil is pretty cringe worthy in itself.
I don't see an alternative to calling her out for considering going on a date with a guy she knows likes her, but of course it is ideal to keep calm and avoid calling her an idiot or a hoe or whatever else comes to mind in the heat of the moment. I suspect there might have been a pattern of behavior from you that made her feel insecure. She obviously did it in a very immature way and in conjunction with the fact that she calls you daddy makes me wonder if she has some psychological/maturity issues.
It's really hard to give the right advice without knowing more details about her, especially how insecure she is in the relationship and how much of it is from you playing it too cool. The "I have to work Saturday but maybe I'll go depending on who you're going with," might have been the trigger (along with past indifference) for her to feel like you don't care that much about her. If she's at all insecure it might sound a lot like you are going out with the boys to hunt for chicks.
Women are naturally more insecure and anxious than men. You might think that physical affection is enough to build up a girl's security in a relationship, but it often doesn't suffice. Since she clearly likes you a lot that can produce pretty high levels of anxiety if/when you seem too indifferent. In the end, she was probably just trying to communicate that other guys are interested in her and she doesn't feel like she's getting enough positive feedback to feel confident in the relationship. It's hard to say how much to blame on her immaturity vs. your perceived apathy without more details but I suspect it is a combination of both.
I just said what I think I'd have done in a similar situation and giving my 2 cents, no claim to be an authority.
And no, I didn't link to a video with Dr. Phil because he's a mPUA and would teach you to spit alpha male game™ on your girlfriend but because he described a few indicators if someone is lying, a field which he has done a lot of research on.
I don't know what good that could come from calling a woman out for considering going on a festival with a guy though? Seems almost a bit like calling out a chick for being attracted to other men.
Yes, you could call a woman out for that but it's not like she's going to stop having those thoughts and feelings.
If it was me I think I would want the girl to tell me about it so she could actually help me judge if she's too far out on the spectrum and too unreliable. Cause you wouldn't want to be with a woman who often had those thoughts anyway.
And in the future, I don't think a woman will be that excited to tell the man if she actually was thinking about something like that if she knows it will just make him annoyed or upset and harm her self-interests.
It doesn't make a whole lot of sense to give advice on the mechanics of shooting a basketball if you personally shoot 15% from the field. There's quite a bit more at stake though if a guy follows fairly questionable relationship advice and it directly contributes to a breakup.
A woman or anyone else should be called out for expecting a pat on the back for opting to not be emotionally unfaithful. It's one thing to check someone out or notice being checked out, and it's another thing entirely to flaunt it to your LTR and say you had to think long and hard whether or not to go for a date. You should call someone out when they are being incredibly obnoxious or immature, not just let them walk all over you.
The reason she was probably being so annoying is because she felt undesirable and insecure. He probably could have gotten to that answer if he had called her out more calmly and then probed a bit. Acting like he doesn't care and then withdrawing more is basically doubling down on what most likely caused this problem in the first place.