Quote: (03-17-2019 01:04 PM)Checkmat Wrote:
LTR tells me she wants me to go to a lantern festival with her. Says its on Sat night. She knows I work Saturday nights. I ask who is going (via text), she says a few friends. I say who? She says a few friends. I say which friends and she names 2 girls she works with. I tell her Id like to go but cant, so have fun w your friends.
Next day we hang out, I ask if she is excited for the festival. She says eh I wish u were going with me. I pause and say, should I go? she says no. While at my house she grabs a pair of black heels that she has left there for months, and some other clothes.
Day of the festival she is super sweet over text, asking for “daddy kisses” and telling me she loves me. Later that night she texts and says her friends cancelled last minute and she is stuck with her $19 ticket.
later that night we talk on the phone and she tells me, “I’ll tell you something. You know that guy at work that likes me, and is always saying flirty things to me? I almost asked him to go to the festival with me. Since I couldnt refund my ticket, and he was getting off work in a few min, I knew he would go with me if I asked. but then I thought, no, my bf wouldnt like that. How would I feel if he did something like that with another girl? So I sat down, looked at my ticket and decided not to ask him”
I was livid. Tried to keep my cool, but internally I thought, my gf wanted to put on her heels and go to a lantern festival, essentially go on a date, with another guy. and the only reason she didnt do it is because she didnt want to piss me off...
I told her she was a huge idiot, for even having that thought. She defended herself saying ppl can have thoughts but its her actions that mattered, and oh what about how I (the bf) sometimes check out other girls in public? I said yeah but I never had to stop myself from asking a girl out on a date while Im in an LTR. she accused me ot being jealous and got mad. we gruffly said goodnight to each other and hung up.
I got off the phone and was seeing red, 10/10 anger. I wanted to break something and hardly slept. I couldnt get the idea of my gf on a date, in her heels looking sexy, with some random dude that hits on her at work.
Im conflicted between just breaking up with her and trying to accept that girls are hos, have thoughts like that all the time, but should I be glad she told me and had the self control not to follow through with her impulse?
I don't think you should have confronted her, it's not like you can change her promiscuous nature by being angry at her and it will only make you seem insecure I think. Easier said than done though if you have feelings for the girl.
You should have just opened up your notebook and silently written down the new red flag you discovered and detach yourself emotionally from her until she has rebuilt the trust again.
But I don't know?
If she first tried with you to go to that festival and that didn't work and then she tried with her girlfriends and that didn't work, then it just seems like she wanted to check out the festival (without having to be alone) and not because she would love to see him and suck his dick.
According to Dr Phil. though (who you can listen to below) it's pretty common that people will say these kinds of things if they're hiding something.
Basically, she could have admitted to you that she didn't go out with this guy in order to make it seem like you can trust her (because she's willing to admit something that was kind of bad in nature). But that wasn't as bad as admitting the whole truth which is that she actually went on this festival and then ended up banging this dude afterward.
I wouldn't break up after a thing like that unless there was something else that made me question her loyalty because there's no proof of cheating.
But I'd detach a bit and see if I'll discover more red flags.