This is side tangent....but I was out with mid 20's people last week and ( I suffering with an actual REAL physical illness) started to hear why they did this and that because they had anxiety, OCD you name it.
One of the girls who works with special ed kids was talking about them and the guy next to her who has OCD (compulsion to tap objects in particular), said everybody is on the spectrum in some way. (Is it easier to belive this so they don;t have to handle the fact that their are other people out there, with none of the their quirks at all?)
Anyway after hearing this go on for a minute or so, her talking about the kids and themselves I chirp up "It's very easy to misdiagnose autism or aspergers or OCD if everybody is on the spectrum"
Dead silence.
Telling. It's all just a way of not doing things, I see this girl minding kids and others kids (her friends kids) and she's developing these psychosis when she should be having kids of her own and stop getting involved in others lives, a load of fussing.
I see the guy speaking to her, a childhood friend who developed a touch of schizophrenia because he never processed the death of his father when young (at about 4), who while smart is just too smart too go to the job but will decide to go on walks as opposed to weightlifting because "its just not my scene". He's 26 and overweight, an accountant, and think his charisma will carry the day but it won't...in the end. He could have it all and thinks that his body will be any different to anyone elses. He would never admit to it, but that is how he subconsciously thinks You see the problem is not his intelligence but the mind guiding that intelligence. It's all bluff. In love with the idea that people are always thinking about him, giving out advice to me during my own illness on don't worry what people think, when he was the biggest scaredy cat of all, always worried how he was perceived. Obvious things that I learned early on.
What ties these broken souls together......they are too tied to their identity, it is the sole reason for the inability to take advice or even consider outside yourself. for whatever reason they didn't suffer enough or watch closely early on, I had ego death incredibly early in life, in fact I'm not sure I ever really had one at all. Truth of the matter is I don't know what I am and never knew, I am a mystery to myself and was always looking out, overhearing a stray comments in adult conversation that sound real or as we would call it red pilled, that struck me, everything passed through a filter and I took on board as useful, even only as a warning. YOU don't have to go through a bunch of crap, to know its a bunch of crap.
Everybody has a lesson to teach even if it is only to serve as a warning.
Never fall in love with yourself, only fall in love with what you can become and are becoming.
These fuckers have set on easy mode from the go, The awful thing is these two will finally take advice at some point and act like its some major revelation, and that they "have been through something", like its some great achievement, long due after they could have done it, enacted on it, they don't seek out, they only consume and that is all the difference.
When they won't do the hard but soon enjoyable work, "because its not their scene, not who they are".
I want to scream at them " LOOK, Frankly at this moment in time, You don't know what you are".
They're already in denial and too into themselves to see a void, yet a a good void which can be built into, is dispiriting.
The problem with the self esteem movement is that kids are constructing images of themselves in their heads without the necessary pushback and tempering to realize they are flesh and blood and a work in progress, with much to learn outside themselves. And the the psychosis people are developing in their adulthood are a delayed reaction to that.
I leave you with a quote from Delta:
The real stuff, the hard stuff, the stuff that matters not drowning yourself in Netlfix and shit pop music, acting like it doesn't effect you, too smart for your own good you say? My friend's counsellor said he acts the way he does because he is intelligent, Would a smart person act in the illogical way my friend is acting? Doesn't sound like he is acting intelligently at all, but for him to realize this would leave with nothing at all....a trait built on salt and bullshit. The intelligent actions are just not that there, therefore he is not clever as he thinks he is.
An NPC, I'm afraid.
I don't know I'd be be able to survive at the moment if it weren't for the fact I froze my legs, ass and finger in flooded dug-outs as a kid playing Gaelic Football in December, being picked last for the team because of lanky I was but still becoming an incredible goalie for my school team I may not have been the best player at where I wanted to be out the, but I learned that I had another skill in another area of the field and I became far more happier and useful there, and ultimately fell in love with my position. We had a GREAT alpha coach who was also my neighbour and his own kids who WERE great naturally talented players that he would pick all the time, looking back people say "cartel, cartel they never have gave us a chance", and my reply always is "I understand, but I think that was a good lesson for future life, you can sometimes do all you can, break your back for someone and they may still not like, or even if they like you they may still not give you the position you wanr, and still get rejected because of circumstances or just not being good enough, myself included, that's more important, than being handed a position....because its my turn". I often hated it too at the time, but it was the best thing to have to happen to you as a young person.
That coach was the distillation of a harsh selective male hierarchy and I always think back to how real, how sincere and earned all those victories were not only for the team but personally. The sore fingers, the chemistry and laughs, the gloves that were falling apart from use, the grit, how real and wonderfully humbling it was training and working as a whole on those dusk summer evenings. I don't even like Gaelic football all that much in truth, but learning a craft internalising those experiences of competition and being stoic changed me or at least cemented what I always known that this is reality and I am flesh and bone, but can be much more to myself.
Even small thing are so memorable and stirring and live with you forever, I had a local guy who was about 20 at the time, stand by me at the goal posts as a linesman at games always encouraging me when the crowd was jeering or not, it actually brings a tear to my eye, he was so decent. The experiences I had were so rich and full of depth. I was fortunate to know how good people could be when you really needed that encouragement.
But I needed to see the low, to feel the gratitude of the high. I needed to have nothing, have a ball fly by me and then to get it back, save it, whatever, to realise we could gain it back, to see our team score to make up for the mistakes they and I made, to see that I could wash away my mistakes through great kickouts. And MOST IMPORTANTLY to realise that I could lose and win and go through the cycles infinite amount of time and become desentitized to the end, to realise it didn't matter what we did, only that that we kept doing it. We could lose everything and gain it all back, and actually enjoy the work and visceral thrill of the comeback more than if we sailed to victory.
Now the same thing happened to my friend (who I spoke of earlier) in the school, but he got the message all wrong or gave up before he had these experiences...and that is a pity.
It was the making of my fortitude for my current trials and some of the happiest most satisfying days I will have ever known.
One of the girls who works with special ed kids was talking about them and the guy next to her who has OCD (compulsion to tap objects in particular), said everybody is on the spectrum in some way. (Is it easier to belive this so they don;t have to handle the fact that their are other people out there, with none of the their quirks at all?)
Anyway after hearing this go on for a minute or so, her talking about the kids and themselves I chirp up "It's very easy to misdiagnose autism or aspergers or OCD if everybody is on the spectrum"
Dead silence.
Telling. It's all just a way of not doing things, I see this girl minding kids and others kids (her friends kids) and she's developing these psychosis when she should be having kids of her own and stop getting involved in others lives, a load of fussing.
I see the guy speaking to her, a childhood friend who developed a touch of schizophrenia because he never processed the death of his father when young (at about 4), who while smart is just too smart too go to the job but will decide to go on walks as opposed to weightlifting because "its just not my scene". He's 26 and overweight, an accountant, and think his charisma will carry the day but it won't...in the end. He could have it all and thinks that his body will be any different to anyone elses. He would never admit to it, but that is how he subconsciously thinks You see the problem is not his intelligence but the mind guiding that intelligence. It's all bluff. In love with the idea that people are always thinking about him, giving out advice to me during my own illness on don't worry what people think, when he was the biggest scaredy cat of all, always worried how he was perceived. Obvious things that I learned early on.
What ties these broken souls together......they are too tied to their identity, it is the sole reason for the inability to take advice or even consider outside yourself. for whatever reason they didn't suffer enough or watch closely early on, I had ego death incredibly early in life, in fact I'm not sure I ever really had one at all. Truth of the matter is I don't know what I am and never knew, I am a mystery to myself and was always looking out, overhearing a stray comments in adult conversation that sound real or as we would call it red pilled, that struck me, everything passed through a filter and I took on board as useful, even only as a warning. YOU don't have to go through a bunch of crap, to know its a bunch of crap.
Everybody has a lesson to teach even if it is only to serve as a warning.
Never fall in love with yourself, only fall in love with what you can become and are becoming.
These fuckers have set on easy mode from the go, The awful thing is these two will finally take advice at some point and act like its some major revelation, and that they "have been through something", like its some great achievement, long due after they could have done it, enacted on it, they don't seek out, they only consume and that is all the difference.
When they won't do the hard but soon enjoyable work, "because its not their scene, not who they are".
I want to scream at them " LOOK, Frankly at this moment in time, You don't know what you are".
They're already in denial and too into themselves to see a void, yet a a good void which can be built into, is dispiriting.
The problem with the self esteem movement is that kids are constructing images of themselves in their heads without the necessary pushback and tempering to realize they are flesh and blood and a work in progress, with much to learn outside themselves. And the the psychosis people are developing in their adulthood are a delayed reaction to that.
I leave you with a quote from Delta:
Quote:Quote:
I've never had any life threatening illness, but I still find most people unrelatable due to their apathy toward improving their own situation, their taking for granted of the incredible gifts they've been given, their pretty delusions that should've been beaten out of them by any sort of major life struggle, and their ridiculous faux crises that have no tangible impact on their lives.
I can't imagine what it's like for someone who suffered through cancer to read about the "horrors" of thin privilege, weird guys trying to strike up a conversation, and being microaggressed.
The real stuff, the hard stuff, the stuff that matters not drowning yourself in Netlfix and shit pop music, acting like it doesn't effect you, too smart for your own good you say? My friend's counsellor said he acts the way he does because he is intelligent, Would a smart person act in the illogical way my friend is acting? Doesn't sound like he is acting intelligently at all, but for him to realize this would leave with nothing at all....a trait built on salt and bullshit. The intelligent actions are just not that there, therefore he is not clever as he thinks he is.
An NPC, I'm afraid.
I don't know I'd be be able to survive at the moment if it weren't for the fact I froze my legs, ass and finger in flooded dug-outs as a kid playing Gaelic Football in December, being picked last for the team because of lanky I was but still becoming an incredible goalie for my school team I may not have been the best player at where I wanted to be out the, but I learned that I had another skill in another area of the field and I became far more happier and useful there, and ultimately fell in love with my position. We had a GREAT alpha coach who was also my neighbour and his own kids who WERE great naturally talented players that he would pick all the time, looking back people say "cartel, cartel they never have gave us a chance", and my reply always is "I understand, but I think that was a good lesson for future life, you can sometimes do all you can, break your back for someone and they may still not like, or even if they like you they may still not give you the position you wanr, and still get rejected because of circumstances or just not being good enough, myself included, that's more important, than being handed a position....because its my turn". I often hated it too at the time, but it was the best thing to have to happen to you as a young person.
That coach was the distillation of a harsh selective male hierarchy and I always think back to how real, how sincere and earned all those victories were not only for the team but personally. The sore fingers, the chemistry and laughs, the gloves that were falling apart from use, the grit, how real and wonderfully humbling it was training and working as a whole on those dusk summer evenings. I don't even like Gaelic football all that much in truth, but learning a craft internalising those experiences of competition and being stoic changed me or at least cemented what I always known that this is reality and I am flesh and bone, but can be much more to myself.
Even small thing are so memorable and stirring and live with you forever, I had a local guy who was about 20 at the time, stand by me at the goal posts as a linesman at games always encouraging me when the crowd was jeering or not, it actually brings a tear to my eye, he was so decent. The experiences I had were so rich and full of depth. I was fortunate to know how good people could be when you really needed that encouragement.
But I needed to see the low, to feel the gratitude of the high. I needed to have nothing, have a ball fly by me and then to get it back, save it, whatever, to realise we could gain it back, to see our team score to make up for the mistakes they and I made, to see that I could wash away my mistakes through great kickouts. And MOST IMPORTANTLY to realise that I could lose and win and go through the cycles infinite amount of time and become desentitized to the end, to realise it didn't matter what we did, only that that we kept doing it. We could lose everything and gain it all back, and actually enjoy the work and visceral thrill of the comeback more than if we sailed to victory.
Now the same thing happened to my friend (who I spoke of earlier) in the school, but he got the message all wrong or gave up before he had these experiences...and that is a pity.
It was the making of my fortitude for my current trials and some of the happiest most satisfying days I will have ever known.