Torn between my ideal woman and the need for strange - will likely choose the latter
11-27-2018, 06:16 AM
I broke up with a long-term girlfriend about 5 years ago. We had been going out for 7 years (yes, 7 long years) and I was significantly "beta" back then so even though I wasn't 100% into her I settled with her thinking it was the right thing to do. She was a good girlfriend despite her jealous streak.
I had only banged around 5 girls up until being with her and there came a time in my relationship that I badly needed to explore the field more. I cheated on her a few times, which I'm not proud of, before finally doing the right thing and breaking up. I panicked about a month into the break-up and tried to get her back, but like all women she had already moved onto new dick (new dick she is now married to).
I banged over three times as many women in the year of the break-up than I had before having met her. I was mid-30s and the peak of my SMV. I made the break at just the right time. Now, with the benefit of hindsight, and 5 years later, should I have stayed with her? No, because though I've not had a long-term relationship since, nor have I found a girl like her since who I could laugh about stupid shit with, the decision I made was the right one at the time and I needed to get all those lays out of my system.
There are no easy answers. If you're not some beta simp you don't need to cling for dear life to a long-term girlfriend. She can be replaced. As you get older it becomes more difficult to replace her, but the other side of that coin is you stick with her and break up later - and then enter the dating marketplace older, and with lower SMV.
Also understand that the feelings you're experiencing are not unusual. Every man experiences them in a long-term relationship, it's just that 90% stay with their girlfriend and cheat. This is not a sustainable situation.
I had only banged around 5 girls up until being with her and there came a time in my relationship that I badly needed to explore the field more. I cheated on her a few times, which I'm not proud of, before finally doing the right thing and breaking up. I panicked about a month into the break-up and tried to get her back, but like all women she had already moved onto new dick (new dick she is now married to).
I banged over three times as many women in the year of the break-up than I had before having met her. I was mid-30s and the peak of my SMV. I made the break at just the right time. Now, with the benefit of hindsight, and 5 years later, should I have stayed with her? No, because though I've not had a long-term relationship since, nor have I found a girl like her since who I could laugh about stupid shit with, the decision I made was the right one at the time and I needed to get all those lays out of my system.
There are no easy answers. If you're not some beta simp you don't need to cling for dear life to a long-term girlfriend. She can be replaced. As you get older it becomes more difficult to replace her, but the other side of that coin is you stick with her and break up later - and then enter the dating marketplace older, and with lower SMV.
Also understand that the feelings you're experiencing are not unusual. Every man experiences them in a long-term relationship, it's just that 90% stay with their girlfriend and cheat. This is not a sustainable situation.