Quote: (11-23-2018 06:12 AM)jordypip23 Wrote:
Quote: (11-23-2018 01:52 AM)lunchmoney Wrote:
Sitting around having a few drinks with family last night, I start convo with one of my younger male cousins, who I discover is clearly very beta. For reference, he's 28, works in IT for a large company, and does well for himself financially. When it comes to women, he's getting it all wrong. He received a text last night from his ex, whom he attempted to rekindle a relationship with earlier this month. They had agreed to meet up in New York City Friday-Sunday this weekend, and he had paid for his ex's plane ticket, as well as the hotel near Times Square (I find out total financial investment - $540). She tells him that she had been going back and forth with the decision, but still had feelings for her most recent ex, and that she couldn't sleep with him knowing she was still in love with the other guy. My cousin sat there like a kid whose puppy died, depressed.
Aside from wanting to initially laugh at him for his foolish decision, I told him there are a lot of lessons he will learn from this situation, but the first two are
1. Leave the past in the past. - That relationship was full of drama when he was in it, and attempting to restart or rekindle with an ex is never good
2. Never invest financially in someone you aren't in a LTR with. - He now has to see if he can recoup any of his money spent, but likely will have to chalk this up as a loss.
Hope this cautionary tale helps someone up here who has been through, or knows someone who made decisions similar to my cousin.
Feel for you man. Try to encourage your cousin to start chatting up new women. And to keep improving himself in other areas besides his already decent career. The obvious stuff. Fuck, if I was him I'd still salvage the hotel room if it was nonrefundable and just hit the town (NYC) and holler at chicks in the city or at minimum just hit some cultural events (ie. music shows / concerts aka the cultural offerings that seem nonstop in NYC, etc.). But otherwise hopefully he can at least get the lodging refunded. The plane ticket for the ex was foolishness & likely a sunk cost.
True. But that's the most difficult part for guys. It's not that they still have extremely deep feelings for a woman that is clearly not that interested. It's that they - men - despise and fear the pain of going through rejection, changing oneself and admitting that with their current personality they won't be able to get laid, unless they really lower their standards or get hookers.