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Insecurity # 2: That my race made me naturally unattractive to women. This is a big one that spawns a lot of IRT's and creates a lot of self hate. Dealing with this was a two part process.
First I had to understand how race and game work together. In college, for example, the frat guys would clean up with the hottest girls. The top frats were mostly rich white dudes whose fathers were in the frat as well. They were unlikely to admit minorities at all unless they knew them very well. This means that few minorities were getting at the hottest sorority girls. This wasn't because the sorority girls saw us as subhuman untermenschen, more just that your access is limited due to cultural factors. It's not like the white frat dudes hate us either, they were just more comfortable around people who looked like them.
I also had to accept that my cultural upbringing can make it hard for me to relate to some types of women. I got along great with African, Indian, and Asian FOB women -- most were first or second gen immigrants like myself and shared similar experiences growing up. I didn't get along well with super wealth-obsessed Persians or suburban white girls, and didn't have much sexual chemistry with Latinas for whatever reason. I wasn't getting shafted by Persians, white girls, or Latinas because I'm Indian, it was because I simply couldn't relate to them on any level and had absolutely nothing in common with them.
Indian-American from the northeast here (NYC & Boston)
As an Indian-American myself, this point is spot on. Well said. I'll add on to this, with a few positive and negative points:
Stats: Born and raised in the Boston area and recently came back from a short stint in NYC. Parents immigrated here from India. I'm North Indian, upper 20s, a little under 6 feet tall, decent build, good style and grooming, very light brown skin (I look more Middle Eastern than Indian and sometimes get mistaken for Morrocan, Turkish, Italian, Greek, and Lebanese).
Although I was born and raised here, my parents were very traditional and brought me up that way. All my friends were Indian growing up, went to an all white school where I never fit in, ate Indian food at home, studied nonstop, textbook nerd, extreme beta all my childhood. Changed things around once college hit...classic 1st generation Indian story.
I spent a good amount of the last few years gaming hard in NYC and Boston, and have seen incredible success with American Latinas + Blacks + Indians, and Foreign Western European girls visiting the US (French, German, Swiss, etc.). It's barely even a challenge for me anymore with these girls. Rinse and repeat. It's usually way easier for me to connect with them, but more than anything, I've had some really fun and intellectual conversations that have led to bangs.
However, I haven't done well with the typical white American basic girl. I hit the clubs hard and constantly get rejected in my approaches, only to see the chicas pair up with a non-indian guy later on in the night.
Dates with white American girls usually don't go well just because any conversation even slightly out of the ordinary (intellectual, fun, etc.) is considered "weird" and out of place to them. Even when we have something in common, they lose interest when I talk about it. I then try to keep it basic and then it just bores them. It just feel like these bitches are way too basic in what they like/do, and I've tried multiple different "tactics" but nothing's worked for me. One thing that I have noticed through my experiences is that white American women generally respond well to the extreme alpha douchebag game (especially in NYC) - I may try to implement for of that going forward. If anyone has any solid intel on this, throw it my way
All the white American girls that I have been able to bed so far have been either a) into Indian culture b) traveled extensively and are more open to different cultures c) the really artsy or hippie type or d) chicks that are into dark guys or e) obsessed with Bollywood movies haha
I do have a close buddy that is Indian American and he is incredibly good looking - I'm talking about model-like. He's plowed his way through NYC, but the majority of his lays with white American women has been with chicks in the 5 categories from above too. He kills the minority game (Latinas, blacks, Europeans, etc.) - similar experiences to me
With all that being said, as long as you don't have any facial deformities and are decent height, I strongly believe that anyone can do decently well in a large American city as long as you hit the gym, style up, get your fundamental game down, break the stereotypes, and are aggressive