Quote: (03-17-2018 07:02 AM)H1N1 Wrote:
There is happiness and interest to be found in many areas of life - work, hobbies, friends, strangers, knowledge acquired, food - there are many things to be relished, almost always at your fingertips, in domains that do not need to overlap, but sometimes can. There are enough things in the course of a day to provide mental, emotional and physical sustenance - a conversation with a good friend, a great meal, an interesting book or article, an engaging and recurring thought, a piece of work well done, something in the here and now with real prospects of future pay off. One mustn't let all these real happinesses and pleasures turn to ash in the mouth simply because one is lacking in one particular domain (usually women). If you put in the work in whatever domain is available to you in the here and now, then a time will come when domains previously denied to you will open up, and you can enjoy it for what it has to offer; perhaps not as soon as you'd like, or for as long as you'd like - who knows - but your chance will come. In the mean time there is nothing else to do but make the most of what really is available to you, draw the maximum enjoyment of that, and avoid altering your position negatively in ways that will cause long term suffering and disappointment - ie. no mail order brides.
I like your posts, H1N1, but this paragraph advocates the kind of dangerous passivity someone's mother might advise them to engage in. It comes from a good place, but it's completely off the mark, good things don't come to those who wait, the guys that engage in passivity get to choose from the leftovers, that's what they get. Advice such as:
"your chance will come"
and
"make the most of what is readily available to you"
Is very far off the mark. For a woman, this could be good advice, as if she improves her looks/character enough, she'll have enough suitors above her market value that taking a passive approach can pay off.
But any man that follows this advice and takes a passive approach towards one of the most important decisions in a man's life, who they will marry, is constraining the options available to them severely, and will very likely to end up with leftovers, that's to say, with an American wife full of red flags, and very possibly a few years afterwards, a divorce, along with the inability to enjoy their children...children who will very likely hate them after a certain point.
And that's for the good looking guys with some social skills.
A fair percentage of the guys that come on this forum are actually not "Chads," in forum-speak, and for those guys, taking this passive approach will result in a nightmare scenario of unfulfilled wants/desires. Coding an app or writing a book or designing a bridge or reorganizing a company to increase efficiency are all well and good, but a man needs a physical outlet in the form of a beautiful woman devoted to him in order to be able to focus 100% on the work-related things that improve the society as a whole.
If a man doesn't have that healthy outlet, it can be impossible to focus on a craft, so to speak. It can be done, but over the years, this deprivation takes a mental toll.
Now, this does depend on the man. If he's the type that only needs release once every few days or once a week or less, then that man can deflect those desires with distractions, so I can see where this post can meet some guys' needs, but if he's the type that needs release more frequently, then that needs to be dealt with, to do otherwise is to deny the core of our animal nature...a sad state of affairs.
I can't recommend your solution to any but the most low T guys who don't have the drive to make the changes necessary to achieve what they want in life, via direct, targeted action, be it through upending their lives and moving abroad, or improving themselves to the point they become a top guy in the West that's in some kind of niche that allows them access to enough targets (college, for example) to create a realistic possibility of success.