[SteezeySteve]

(01-30-2018 10:02 AM)Eddie Winslow Wrote:  

Once my body really starts to fail me at 75-80+, I'd like to retire to my local poker room. I will show up every day at 9am and play 1/2 NL holdem and small buy-in poker tournaments all fucking day and talk shit to the young guns and bust all of the dealers' balls. I will leave every day at the same time so I can get the early-bird special at the buffet and beat the traffic home.

All the pretty 21 year old waitresses will know my name and look forward to seeing me everyday because I will be the funny, sweet old man who sneaks them jolly ranchers and tips them $2 every time they bring me a hot cup of tea. I'll tell them they remind me of my deceased wife and/or beautiful granddaughter (neither who actually exist) and they will regularly give me hugs, which will be enough to satisfy any remaining sex drive I have left in my ancient balls.

Everyone there will love me until the day I die. After I go, the dealers and casino managers will reminisce about me and share my stories with other dealers and players until they die too.

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