A little background: somewhat new to the game and don't have an extensive amount of experience. However, I managed to have 10 notches at 28. I generally meet girls in the dance scene and get their numbers after small chit chats. I'd say this method is a hit or miss as maybe 1/10 will lead to a date.
Before the date, I generally try to gather as much info on the girl through fb/twitter/instagram to tailor my conversation for the date. I.e. if I saw that she'd been traveling to X country, I would try to slip that in during the date. I'm pretty good at leading and carrying conversations, so the generally don't know that I've been sniffing around.
In my limited sample size, I noticed that the girls whose date I prepped for extensively usually didn't work out the way I wanted (i.e. didn't lead to sex). My theory is that when I try very hard to mold the conversation around her interests, the psychology is that I'm trying hard to win her validation. Conversely, the times when I didn't stalk the girl, I was more successful in bedding the girl, despite my lack of intel.
Seemed counter intuitive, but I'm wondering if over-preparation can be a bad thing. Any thoughts on this among the vets?
Just to caveat, I'm not socially awkward and pretty talkative, so I'm pretty sure it's not my lack on conversational skill that killed the attraction. I suspect it's the subtle psychological shift that took place when you're the one who's trying hard. I'm only bringing this up for context, not to brag.
Before the date, I generally try to gather as much info on the girl through fb/twitter/instagram to tailor my conversation for the date. I.e. if I saw that she'd been traveling to X country, I would try to slip that in during the date. I'm pretty good at leading and carrying conversations, so the generally don't know that I've been sniffing around.
In my limited sample size, I noticed that the girls whose date I prepped for extensively usually didn't work out the way I wanted (i.e. didn't lead to sex). My theory is that when I try very hard to mold the conversation around her interests, the psychology is that I'm trying hard to win her validation. Conversely, the times when I didn't stalk the girl, I was more successful in bedding the girl, despite my lack of intel.
Seemed counter intuitive, but I'm wondering if over-preparation can be a bad thing. Any thoughts on this among the vets?
Just to caveat, I'm not socially awkward and pretty talkative, so I'm pretty sure it's not my lack on conversational skill that killed the attraction. I suspect it's the subtle psychological shift that took place when you're the one who's trying hard. I'm only bringing this up for context, not to brag.