I think men far too often pass the buck on this one. In my own experience, women will put up with pretty much any hardship that comes your way, no matter how low it drags her with you.
But here's the thing. The moment you start to feel like a loser instead of like a guy who's momentarily losing, you send out those vibes that absolutely disgust them, and I don't think their reaction is something they're conscious of. It's too primal for that. But women want winners.
And if you start showing signs of self pity and talking and acting like a victim, that's not something they can stomach. First, they'll quickly make their disapproval known in some way or another, whether they're your chick or your mom, but you can actually think of this as a woman's form of tough love - she's trying to encourage and motivate you to man up. This makes sense if you consider the traditional role of a woman.
And if you don't recover, internally, that is, yes they'll start to distance themselves and eventually leave. Since women biologically seek out men for security and protection, why would you be surprised if you find yourself alone after hardship makes your entire frame fall apart?
Of course, there are some very cold ones out there who are ruthless in their mating strategies, as we all know, but they're generally the exception to the rule and should be screened out from the beginning anyhow. In most cases, the problem wasn't that you struggled, though; it was that you let whatever it is completely defeat you.
Also, keep in mind that when you see a woman abandon your destitute buddy, you have no real idea of the hell they're living at home. Just because he puts on a courageous face for you doesn't mean he isn't falling apart when he's alone with her.
As for when shit really hits the fan for a guy who has no possible way to get back on his feet, such as with disability or illness, I think it's a stretch to say woman don't carry their weight. I'd wager there are far more women out there than men changing diapers, wiping asses, and dressing the hideous wounds of adult people they love, even if they do still have to give them some of that disgusted tough love to keep them on their feet sometimes.
Women are biologically disposed to care for the invalid and destitute. If you want them to remain sexually attracted to you and see you as a provider, however, yeah, you'll have to maintain your frame to a certain equilibrium no matter how bad it gets.
Think back on that woman who acted cold when you were against the fence. Did you somewhat deserve it? Were you acting like a victim and hoping for pity?
Like it or not, this is not manly and will always subconsciously destroy her attraction and respect for you, something she rarely even realizes herself. All she knows is that suddenly she's riding rock bottom with a man she doesn't feel anything for anymore, and that hardly seems worth her sacrifice - that's what she tells herself because that's how it FEELS.
If you maintain the attraction by maintaining your self confidence, hope, and self respect - on the other hand - a lot of women will pretty much ride out anything with you. Hell, just look at all the natural players in the world whose women carry their deadbeat asses through life when they don't have a job or car or any of the other basic markers of success...because their frame is still intact.
Some men I know from hard backgrounds learned this lesson so well at a young age they go through life with multiple broads buying them shit and paying their bills on a regular basis. The caliber of women who get caught up supporting these kinds of guys range all the way across the spectrum, too.
I've had multiple times where I reached the top very quickly, and I've had times where I lost it all even faster, and come to think of it, the men I associated with were often the ones who changed their behavior. Some men would shun me when I was doing well out of jealousy and because I reminded them of their own inadequacy and then were suddenly their same old selves again when I fell - even going as far as to almost seem to derive some kind of secret satisfaction from seeing the wind get knocked out of my sails. Other men would be a best friend while I was at the top and then suddenly turn a cold shoulder when "fortune" reversed.
I only wish I could assure you it was easy to determine which men in your life will act like this ahead of time, but unfortunately it's not. Obviously some men are solid through and through as well, but you might be surprised at which ones they turn out to be in the end.
The women in my life, on the other hand, have mostly been consistent in their support and attention, only seemingly adjusting these things to the extent of, or lack thereof, my own self-pity. Whether at top or bottom, you can't ever stop playing the game.
But here's the thing. The moment you start to feel like a loser instead of like a guy who's momentarily losing, you send out those vibes that absolutely disgust them, and I don't think their reaction is something they're conscious of. It's too primal for that. But women want winners.
And if you start showing signs of self pity and talking and acting like a victim, that's not something they can stomach. First, they'll quickly make their disapproval known in some way or another, whether they're your chick or your mom, but you can actually think of this as a woman's form of tough love - she's trying to encourage and motivate you to man up. This makes sense if you consider the traditional role of a woman.
And if you don't recover, internally, that is, yes they'll start to distance themselves and eventually leave. Since women biologically seek out men for security and protection, why would you be surprised if you find yourself alone after hardship makes your entire frame fall apart?
Of course, there are some very cold ones out there who are ruthless in their mating strategies, as we all know, but they're generally the exception to the rule and should be screened out from the beginning anyhow. In most cases, the problem wasn't that you struggled, though; it was that you let whatever it is completely defeat you.
Also, keep in mind that when you see a woman abandon your destitute buddy, you have no real idea of the hell they're living at home. Just because he puts on a courageous face for you doesn't mean he isn't falling apart when he's alone with her.
As for when shit really hits the fan for a guy who has no possible way to get back on his feet, such as with disability or illness, I think it's a stretch to say woman don't carry their weight. I'd wager there are far more women out there than men changing diapers, wiping asses, and dressing the hideous wounds of adult people they love, even if they do still have to give them some of that disgusted tough love to keep them on their feet sometimes.
Women are biologically disposed to care for the invalid and destitute. If you want them to remain sexually attracted to you and see you as a provider, however, yeah, you'll have to maintain your frame to a certain equilibrium no matter how bad it gets.
Think back on that woman who acted cold when you were against the fence. Did you somewhat deserve it? Were you acting like a victim and hoping for pity?
Like it or not, this is not manly and will always subconsciously destroy her attraction and respect for you, something she rarely even realizes herself. All she knows is that suddenly she's riding rock bottom with a man she doesn't feel anything for anymore, and that hardly seems worth her sacrifice - that's what she tells herself because that's how it FEELS.
If you maintain the attraction by maintaining your self confidence, hope, and self respect - on the other hand - a lot of women will pretty much ride out anything with you. Hell, just look at all the natural players in the world whose women carry their deadbeat asses through life when they don't have a job or car or any of the other basic markers of success...because their frame is still intact.
Some men I know from hard backgrounds learned this lesson so well at a young age they go through life with multiple broads buying them shit and paying their bills on a regular basis. The caliber of women who get caught up supporting these kinds of guys range all the way across the spectrum, too.
I've had multiple times where I reached the top very quickly, and I've had times where I lost it all even faster, and come to think of it, the men I associated with were often the ones who changed their behavior. Some men would shun me when I was doing well out of jealousy and because I reminded them of their own inadequacy and then were suddenly their same old selves again when I fell - even going as far as to almost seem to derive some kind of secret satisfaction from seeing the wind get knocked out of my sails. Other men would be a best friend while I was at the top and then suddenly turn a cold shoulder when "fortune" reversed.
I only wish I could assure you it was easy to determine which men in your life will act like this ahead of time, but unfortunately it's not. Obviously some men are solid through and through as well, but you might be surprised at which ones they turn out to be in the end.
The women in my life, on the other hand, have mostly been consistent in their support and attention, only seemingly adjusting these things to the extent of, or lack thereof, my own self-pity. Whether at top or bottom, you can't ever stop playing the game.
Beyond All Seas
"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe.
To be your own man is a hard business. If you try it, you'll be lonely often, and sometimes
frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself." - Kipling
"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe.
To be your own man is a hard business. If you try it, you'll be lonely often, and sometimes
frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself." - Kipling