I recently figured out the formula for avoiding all of this desperation nonsense :
Be in control of your sex drive
Go somewhere where you'll have an abundance of female validation
Be in control of your instinct to protect and provide for females
Years ago a girl broke up with me and I cried for lord knows how long (day after day - it embarrassed my friends and even I was annoyed by it). It was so painful. Looking back, I know that it was more to do with feeling like I didn't have options, than the girl herself. The girl had more red flags than China but she was all I had in terms of female validation. And I was really hurt. That's how bad the effect of not having options is.
Be in control of your sex drive
Go somewhere where you'll have an abundance of female validation
Be in control of your instinct to protect and provide for females
Years ago a girl broke up with me and I cried for lord knows how long (day after day - it embarrassed my friends and even I was annoyed by it). It was so painful. Looking back, I know that it was more to do with feeling like I didn't have options, than the girl herself. The girl had more red flags than China but she was all I had in terms of female validation. And I was really hurt. That's how bad the effect of not having options is.