I'd just like to add: don't be too hard on yourself, OP. It must have been miserable at the end, and to add insult to injury and pain that comes with the end of any long-term relationship, you also have to cope with that wrenching feeling that you were had.
It'll all fade in time, though.
If it's any comfort - pretty much all of us have been there, I think. Even the smartest people get fooled, and end up asking themselves "How could I have been so stupid?!"
But I don't think that you'll get anywhere obsessing about that. In the grand scheme of things, it sounds like it could've gone a lot worse. But it didn't. So it's fortunate that right now the only baggage that you're left to carry is how you want to play things going down the line. You could of course choose to become obsessional about the nature of the abuse (and it was indeed abuse) that you suffered, determined to do anything to ensure that it never happens again. A lot of people choose to do that - and there are a lot of unhappy people out there.
So be kind to yourself.
I like this entry myself:
http://www.rooshv.com/dont-shed-a-single...you-banged
I don't agree with everything in it...it's a little too cynical for my taste - I think it's definitely okay to shed at least a few tears. But when you're ready, you should go out and win again. Cuz living well is the only "revenge" that means a damn.
Play it right, and be honest with yourself about anything you also think needs to change about yourself, and I think you'll have a good shot at finding a girl who truly wants you to win.
It'll all fade in time, though.
If it's any comfort - pretty much all of us have been there, I think. Even the smartest people get fooled, and end up asking themselves "How could I have been so stupid?!"
But I don't think that you'll get anywhere obsessing about that. In the grand scheme of things, it sounds like it could've gone a lot worse. But it didn't. So it's fortunate that right now the only baggage that you're left to carry is how you want to play things going down the line. You could of course choose to become obsessional about the nature of the abuse (and it was indeed abuse) that you suffered, determined to do anything to ensure that it never happens again. A lot of people choose to do that - and there are a lot of unhappy people out there.
So be kind to yourself.
I like this entry myself:
http://www.rooshv.com/dont-shed-a-single...you-banged
I don't agree with everything in it...it's a little too cynical for my taste - I think it's definitely okay to shed at least a few tears. But when you're ready, you should go out and win again. Cuz living well is the only "revenge" that means a damn.
Play it right, and be honest with yourself about anything you also think needs to change about yourself, and I think you'll have a good shot at finding a girl who truly wants you to win.