I think the problem you have is two fold, one of which is your own issue and the second of which is based on the misinformation that people that talk about "game" spout. I'll start with the later.
Despite what you have probably read, game is not actually just about being alpha and trying to lead all the time. In fact, at certain points in SOME interactions with women it is appropriate to turn on some beta characteristics. One should not always be cocky or aloof just to seem cool, there are times where being affectionate and even "acting" shy or excited make you seem like you more genuinely like the girl. The whole idea of building comfort is actually based on that.
Let's take an example from someone that is beyond alpha, a pimp. In Iceberg Slim's (he was a famous pimp that wrote many books) Pimp, he tells a story about how he met a girl whose car broke down and how he essentially used sweet talk and charm, rather than being a stone cold player, to get the girl to empathize and care for him so he could eventually con her out of money. So if a stone cold pimp can use SOME beta qualities, then so can you.
The issue here, however, is that you don't know how to read situations with women, whatever the location may be (nightclub, bar, bookstore, on a date, etc.) to know when it's proper to turn on the alpha and when it is proper to turn it down a bit. That is the essence of game if you add the fact that as a man you must try with women over and over and accept the failures along with the successes.
Learning game means learning everything from the start to finish. The start will almost always be the same or similar. It is the finish which will be different. You can try a ONS, you can date, you can get in a relationship, you can get married, you can have kids, you can divorce, or you can grow old together. All of these things are different parts and milestones in a given relationship, and game is what will allow you to reach any of those given spots.
If you simply approach enough and have some sense of social clues you will eventually get laid or potentially have a relationship, but game is what will allow you to become more successful in terms of percentage of times you reach your desired goal.
So, by approaching more you will gradually learn game (unless you have social or mental issues), and by learning game you will gradually be more successful on your approaches. It is a self feeding loop.
-Stack
Despite what you have probably read, game is not actually just about being alpha and trying to lead all the time. In fact, at certain points in SOME interactions with women it is appropriate to turn on some beta characteristics. One should not always be cocky or aloof just to seem cool, there are times where being affectionate and even "acting" shy or excited make you seem like you more genuinely like the girl. The whole idea of building comfort is actually based on that.
Let's take an example from someone that is beyond alpha, a pimp. In Iceberg Slim's (he was a famous pimp that wrote many books) Pimp, he tells a story about how he met a girl whose car broke down and how he essentially used sweet talk and charm, rather than being a stone cold player, to get the girl to empathize and care for him so he could eventually con her out of money. So if a stone cold pimp can use SOME beta qualities, then so can you.
The issue here, however, is that you don't know how to read situations with women, whatever the location may be (nightclub, bar, bookstore, on a date, etc.) to know when it's proper to turn on the alpha and when it is proper to turn it down a bit. That is the essence of game if you add the fact that as a man you must try with women over and over and accept the failures along with the successes.
Learning game means learning everything from the start to finish. The start will almost always be the same or similar. It is the finish which will be different. You can try a ONS, you can date, you can get in a relationship, you can get married, you can have kids, you can divorce, or you can grow old together. All of these things are different parts and milestones in a given relationship, and game is what will allow you to reach any of those given spots.
If you simply approach enough and have some sense of social clues you will eventually get laid or potentially have a relationship, but game is what will allow you to become more successful in terms of percentage of times you reach your desired goal.
So, by approaching more you will gradually learn game (unless you have social or mental issues), and by learning game you will gradually be more successful on your approaches. It is a self feeding loop.
-Stack