I can see why a lot of guys have gotten heated up over this, but I think we should take a step back and understand where everyone's coming from. We don't necessarily need to enforce conformity on the issue as long as we can avoid conflict.
By disagreeing with some of you guys, don't take it as me attacking you personally or that I'm taking sides. Mostly I'm just trying to make sense of the underlying dynamic and different perspectives here.
First, it's a bad idea to use words that are sure to anger others or earn you a punch in the face if you were to say them in public. The internet anonymity allows people the ability to act more brazenly than they otherwise would. It also makes it easier to forget all of those who will read whatever you write.
It was in bad taste to use the word coalburner, and I can see where you guys are coming from in pointing out the extremely negative connotations it could be interpreted with. But I'm not sure OP used it with the intention of vitriol that's being attributed to him.
To be honest, I don't know many people that use the word, but I can't see it being used to paint an entire race in a negative light. When people use words like that, they're often attempting to come up with a simple generalization a stereotype. But for most of the people who would use it, I think race is a secondary issue. Like Aurini said, you don't see educated White women who date Black professionals being labeled negatively, except for maybe among an extreme minority of low class Whites.
It's most likely used more to describe a specific type of White woman who goes for a specific type of Black man. It's more of a stereotype for the cliche of the overweight tatted White 5 who goes for the unemployed gangbanger with domestic issues. Or the rich White girl dating someone from the ghetto to try and piss her dad off. And, yes, it can also have a hateful connotation, such as with Dylan Roof, where the guy who was discarded blames an entire race for his failings.
As such, it can be a charged word because it's difficult to know which connotation the user intends. But based on the article OP posted, I don't think he meant any hostility by it. The woman is a dumpy overweight 5 who made the self destructive move of shacking up with an unrepentant player who only wanted to use her.
It's a not-so-uncommon pattern that people came up with a word for it. It's not an attack on Black people as a race, just a specific subset. It's like the word White trash, a word I'll use fairly often. When I say White trash, I'm not talking about all White people. I'm talking about a specific group of low class Whites who live in trailer parks, drink bud light and smoke meth.
OP's reaction to the article was recognizing the player's game and laughing at the woman. He clearly wasn't butthurt, and it's a strawman to suggest he was resentful of the player when everything points to the contrary. It will only serve to blow this conflict out of proportion.
I can understand the conflict these threads create. Race is a hot button topic in America. While nearly all peoples have been subject to slavery, Black people are still dealing with the scars of a socioeconomic and political system that keeps them mired in a lack of opportunity. Our educational system and media reinforces racial boundaries through constant reminders of historical grievances and couching racial undertones in every issue.
Many Whites are also sick and tired of being bombarded with White guilt for crimes committed before they were born. It gets annoying being told that your whole race is uniquely evil and you should apologize for simply existing. Kind of like how it gets tiring for men to be told that all men are rapists.
There are double standards when it comes to race. Black comics are allowed to say things that Whites aren't. If Black Lives Matter were to have a White counterpart, I'm pretty sure all members would have been indicted for domestic terrorism, treason, RICO, or something similar. There are certainly White race baiters, but they're not given a mainstream national platform like other groups.
![[Image: Ca1Qa8rUEAAentS.jpg]](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Ca1Qa8rUEAAentS.jpg)
I was kind of surprised that, in at least in one thread, the general consensus among people who aren't White on the forum is that White people should be barred from being allowed to express their cultural identity while every other race or group shouldn't. It's an attitude that I believe will only encourage alienation between groups.
So, race is always going to be a contentious topic for different groups for different reasons. The tension that many people hold privately gets wound up, and when these topics are breached that resentment boils to the forefront. On these issues we're often coming from completely different perspectives, and it's difficult to reconcile and understand each other. These threads almost never end well, but when they come up, we should do our best to stay as dispassionate as possible and read too much into what could be minor details. It will only create wider rifts.
By disagreeing with some of you guys, don't take it as me attacking you personally or that I'm taking sides. Mostly I'm just trying to make sense of the underlying dynamic and different perspectives here.
First, it's a bad idea to use words that are sure to anger others or earn you a punch in the face if you were to say them in public. The internet anonymity allows people the ability to act more brazenly than they otherwise would. It also makes it easier to forget all of those who will read whatever you write.
It was in bad taste to use the word coalburner, and I can see where you guys are coming from in pointing out the extremely negative connotations it could be interpreted with. But I'm not sure OP used it with the intention of vitriol that's being attributed to him.
To be honest, I don't know many people that use the word, but I can't see it being used to paint an entire race in a negative light. When people use words like that, they're often attempting to come up with a simple generalization a stereotype. But for most of the people who would use it, I think race is a secondary issue. Like Aurini said, you don't see educated White women who date Black professionals being labeled negatively, except for maybe among an extreme minority of low class Whites.
It's most likely used more to describe a specific type of White woman who goes for a specific type of Black man. It's more of a stereotype for the cliche of the overweight tatted White 5 who goes for the unemployed gangbanger with domestic issues. Or the rich White girl dating someone from the ghetto to try and piss her dad off. And, yes, it can also have a hateful connotation, such as with Dylan Roof, where the guy who was discarded blames an entire race for his failings.
As such, it can be a charged word because it's difficult to know which connotation the user intends. But based on the article OP posted, I don't think he meant any hostility by it. The woman is a dumpy overweight 5 who made the self destructive move of shacking up with an unrepentant player who only wanted to use her.
It's a not-so-uncommon pattern that people came up with a word for it. It's not an attack on Black people as a race, just a specific subset. It's like the word White trash, a word I'll use fairly often. When I say White trash, I'm not talking about all White people. I'm talking about a specific group of low class Whites who live in trailer parks, drink bud light and smoke meth.
OP's reaction to the article was recognizing the player's game and laughing at the woman. He clearly wasn't butthurt, and it's a strawman to suggest he was resentful of the player when everything points to the contrary. It will only serve to blow this conflict out of proportion.
I can understand the conflict these threads create. Race is a hot button topic in America. While nearly all peoples have been subject to slavery, Black people are still dealing with the scars of a socioeconomic and political system that keeps them mired in a lack of opportunity. Our educational system and media reinforces racial boundaries through constant reminders of historical grievances and couching racial undertones in every issue.
Many Whites are also sick and tired of being bombarded with White guilt for crimes committed before they were born. It gets annoying being told that your whole race is uniquely evil and you should apologize for simply existing. Kind of like how it gets tiring for men to be told that all men are rapists.
There are double standards when it comes to race. Black comics are allowed to say things that Whites aren't. If Black Lives Matter were to have a White counterpart, I'm pretty sure all members would have been indicted for domestic terrorism, treason, RICO, or something similar. There are certainly White race baiters, but they're not given a mainstream national platform like other groups.
I was kind of surprised that, in at least in one thread, the general consensus among people who aren't White on the forum is that White people should be barred from being allowed to express their cultural identity while every other race or group shouldn't. It's an attitude that I believe will only encourage alienation between groups.
So, race is always going to be a contentious topic for different groups for different reasons. The tension that many people hold privately gets wound up, and when these topics are breached that resentment boils to the forefront. On these issues we're often coming from completely different perspectives, and it's difficult to reconcile and understand each other. These threads almost never end well, but when they come up, we should do our best to stay as dispassionate as possible and read too much into what could be minor details. It will only create wider rifts.