My guidelines. The rules are pretty much the same as dating any "foreign" girl. The rules below would also apply to a black guy dating a white girl or any other "foreign" girl.
In a nutshell, show respect for other cultures, but don't try to be "one of them." Nobody respects someone with a defective sense of identity. You have to sort of float above the cultural milieu, and show you are accessible.
1. Never act thug. They can get that anywhere. No black girl is with you because she's looking for thuggery.
2. Do not use any overt black American English slang. It looks patronizing and absurd. At the same time, an experienced rhetorician can modulate the cadence of his voice to imply acquaintance with African-American cultural norms. The key word here is "imply." Less is more.
3. Do not discuss any race bullshit, politics, or any of that bullshit. No one wants to hear it, no one can do anything about it, and it just ruins the vibe.
4. While you should not act thug or overtly "down," you should display that you have some sort of "flavor." There's a difference, see. Flavor is implied knowledge. Flavor is the whiff of suggestion. Flavor is that gleam in your eye, that two-day old growth on your face, that nice cologne you're wearing, and things like that. The point is: you have to show you're not some square. No chicks want to be with a square.
5. Stand up for yourself. All women test, but black girls will be inclined to test you a bit more, since you are more of an unknown quantity. Black women mostly come from cultural backgrounds where men are expected to act masculine. I'm not saying you need to be swaggering around, but you need to draw boundaries and enforce them.
6. Be prepared for some shit. If the girl you're with is attractive, chances are 100% that other brothers have been popping on her ass, too, sniffing around. Jealousy is a human emotion, and that emotion transcends ethnicity.
7. Do not disrespect other black men. Do not rub anything in anyone's face. Do not talk about intimate details. Cross lines and you will get beat down. And chances are, if you're a white guy, you're going to get your ass kicked. Thread the needle, tread cautiously, and do not piss on people's turf.
8. Dress well. Appearances matter. Look good, feel good.
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In a nutshell, show respect for other cultures, but don't try to be "one of them." Nobody respects someone with a defective sense of identity. You have to sort of float above the cultural milieu, and show you are accessible.
1. Never act thug. They can get that anywhere. No black girl is with you because she's looking for thuggery.
2. Do not use any overt black American English slang. It looks patronizing and absurd. At the same time, an experienced rhetorician can modulate the cadence of his voice to imply acquaintance with African-American cultural norms. The key word here is "imply." Less is more.
3. Do not discuss any race bullshit, politics, or any of that bullshit. No one wants to hear it, no one can do anything about it, and it just ruins the vibe.
4. While you should not act thug or overtly "down," you should display that you have some sort of "flavor." There's a difference, see. Flavor is implied knowledge. Flavor is the whiff of suggestion. Flavor is that gleam in your eye, that two-day old growth on your face, that nice cologne you're wearing, and things like that. The point is: you have to show you're not some square. No chicks want to be with a square.
5. Stand up for yourself. All women test, but black girls will be inclined to test you a bit more, since you are more of an unknown quantity. Black women mostly come from cultural backgrounds where men are expected to act masculine. I'm not saying you need to be swaggering around, but you need to draw boundaries and enforce them.
6. Be prepared for some shit. If the girl you're with is attractive, chances are 100% that other brothers have been popping on her ass, too, sniffing around. Jealousy is a human emotion, and that emotion transcends ethnicity.
7. Do not disrespect other black men. Do not rub anything in anyone's face. Do not talk about intimate details. Cross lines and you will get beat down. And chances are, if you're a white guy, you're going to get your ass kicked. Thread the needle, tread cautiously, and do not piss on people's turf.
8. Dress well. Appearances matter. Look good, feel good.
.