[Matsufubu]

(05-25-2016 01:00 PM)doc holliday Wrote:  

Sure, the guy probably needed to pay more attention to what was going on in his marriage and he should have put his foot down on her going out but I'm not sure why he seems to be getting all of the blame here. This is the problem, these women are never told that they need to hold up their end of the bargain. If a women starts straying, its because the man isn't alpha enough, didn't pay attention etc, not because she's a piece of shit who doesn't understand or care about any of her husbands sacrifices for the family and decided to get influenced by all of the negative forces around her who tell her she's getting a raw deal by staying married to her loser husband.

I was married for 19 years and I employed asshole game, dread game, leadership game etc. I kept myself in great shape, looked way better than all of her friends husbands, bought the big house etc. She had everything she could have wanted. I never put up with any of her bs. I called out all of the negative influences around her and tortured her ass during the divorce by not leaving the house and sleeping in my bed in my master bedroom throughout the majority of it, over a year and a half. You know where all of that got me? It got me to the exact same spot as this guy and everyone else- divorced and my family blown up. Guys need to understand, like Clean Slate said, that it's impossible to keep your wife in check when all the outside influences are conspiring to undermine all of your efforts. In this case, I blame the woman who wanted to party, not the guy who was sacrificing everything to keep his family together.

Yes, this is very important: by just blaming the guy, by saying he's a loser husband who let himself go (not what I took from the story) so no wonder, he got what he deserved, etc, we are simply absolving the woman of any responsibility whatsoever. This is not right. Just because a woman is more inclined to certain behaviours it doesn't mean she's entitled to act on them willy-nilly as a child would, and if daddy doesn't stop her then he's a shitty parent.

Other posters have said things along the lines of "I'd keep her in line by maintaining frame", that hitting the gym would solve the problems, that you "wouldn't let her go out with her friends"...you have to understand that the entire culture, the law and everyone around her is encouraging this behaviour in her. The guy was pissing into the wind. At the end of the day, you say to your wife "No, you can't do that", and she says "Yes, I can", what are you going to do about it? In the West in 2016 she can do anything she wants without (immediate) consequence! Yes, in the long run you could run dread game (yes), but how is this guy going to know that?

At the end of the day we have to hold women responsible for their own actions. As long as they demand to be treated like adults then we must hold them to this standard, and to hold her responsible for fucking up her family, regardless whether the man could do with some game tips. This is not his fault. When you get married you sign a contract, and if you're grown up enough to sign a contract you're grown up enough to be held to it.