Quote: (05-13-2016 10:06 PM)Rigsby Wrote:
Ah AB, once more you thrust to the heart of the matter.
[I'm putting a big TRIGGER WARNING up with this response, for anyone that might be offended by it.]
Back to the response...
I really had not intellectualised it to that point, but what you say rings alarmingly true.
First off, you seem to be already familiar with this type of rare personality. Yes, it was kind of funny in a very drunken way, but still, being raging drunk, something was off. Nail on head.
(A quick digression if I may, while I remember. You might be able to relate to this as well.
Coming from Wales and being part of that culture, Rugby is a big pass time here, as I'm sure you know. There was a tour, and someone that wasn't part of the team had a very bad experience once, on the bus. I was told this by my girlfriend at the time. It was confirmed later by her Rugby playing, bodybuilding, bouncer, brother. Even he knew it was wrong. Basically what happened was, the boys were trying to out macho each other, so they took a guy that wasn't so macho that he could fight back, and they held him down, and one of the Rugby team actually gave him a blow job. You heard that right. Don't shoot the messenger. It happened. Fact. The person that gave him the blow job, or rather, the 'man' that gave him the blow job, was totally straight, girlfriend etc.
There were hoots of approval and indeed there was a winner among them. What happened to the 'victim' was effectively a form of male rape, and it did affect him deeply later on. Certainly he would always be known as that guy that got held down on the bus and violated. Enough.)
The situation with this guy did indeed just go past that point of it being comfortable. He always was a wind up merchant, but even this was pushing things to the limit. It was out of place if nothing else. Everyone else gone to bed. It was just uncalled for. It wasn't funny. At all. It was a test. I can't put it any better than that. You seem to understand what was going on though, so I'll just leave it there.
Yes, his Id did indeed overtake his Super-Ego. If it hadn't, and he was just having a crack, he might have made light of it the next day. The fact nothing was said, was not odd in itself, but it still spoke a little bit to the situation previously. Alcohol was the very excuse he needed. And he picked someone that was as drunk as him, that wasn't part of his wider social circle, to act out with.
Going slightly off track again, but before I forget, it's that kind of attitude that some extremely macho men have (I use the term 'macho' to denote, not a masculine man, per se, but an overly masculine man, be they still heterosexual) where they say: "Fucking women is for poofs!". Because they are so big and strong and 'macho' they can fuck men as well with impunity. Maybe didn't explain that so well either, but perhaps you get the point. It's a parallel to what you were saying, or so I thought.
But yes, back to what you were saying, it is very different to being hit on by gay men.
I think you have summed it up rather succinctly, so won't add any more.
Maybe you are right. Maybe he was abused in some kind of way either by one of his family or a friend or who knows. But the pattern fits. He had the psycho gene. Not an out and out dangerous psycho. But like I said, he hit a black guy in a black pub in Tottenham, and we all had to leave pretty quick. It was ok the next day, but the potential for damage was massive. I smelled the 'death wish' on him. If he had been in the services himself and seen things, I might be able to understand, but he was a tech for Apple computers for chrissake!
But yeah, something damaged him. He was into extreme violent porn like you would get on banged up dot com back in the day. Really nasty stuff. Dead mutilated bodies, you know. I could never stomach any of it. Shit, I still haven't seen two girls one cup. Don't want to pollute my beautiful mind.
You've got a keen sense AB. Thanks for sharing.
Rigsby and AB. Deep and thoughtful analysis. I work with military guys and used to work with top Division 1 athletes at University. This shit happens fairly regularly, whether due to some type of childhood abuse or just a way to establish (fairly permanently) some type of dominance structure based on humiliation.
Here's one story that I was told. Biggest most muscular guy on a unit was hazing other guys on the military unit to join and get the tattoo (yeah, just like a movie). To do it the hazing ritual that those that were able to meet a certain physical performance level got in. Those that couldn't make that level could still get in but had to eat bread slices off his boned up dick while other guys cheered. For whatever reason, getting onto this team was so important there were always some guys willing to do it especially as drunk as they all were.
Eventually everyone forgot who got in via skill and who got in via bread slices and they all got the same tattoos and same respect from everyone not in the club. The only guys who didn't forget were the guys doing the bread slices. They served the unit/club faithfully but guess what, the alpha male of the unit never ever had to worry about his dominance being challenged by them.
interestingly, the guy telling me this story was "of course" a guy that got in through physical skill alone...and he was laughing so hard while telling me for most of it that he was tearing up.