Feel like a chump replying on this thread, my circumstances aren't anywhere near surviving cancer, but I can relate.
I went through a divorce, changed jobs after 9 years at the same place, and in the divorce there were all these accusations of alcohol abuse, so I don't keep alcohol in the house and don't drink around my kids - that alone has changed my life to the point that I really think before I go out and have a drink because of those allegations. I think they're bullshit but at the same time it makes me conscious of proving that they're bullshit. And one consequence is that I tend to not go out to bars without a purpose. It's one thing to meet a friend and have a drink, but just go out solo and hope to meet a chick to take home? Nope.
I'll admit I've broken the cardinal rule myself. I find myself longing to go back to 1993 when buying a girl dinner was a legit strategy. Like Doc Holliday said, I enjoy a good meal with a woman who's made an effort to look good for you.
dies irae makes a great point. My dad died last year and that got me thinking about mortality. My dad died last year and that made me really face mortality. My dad seemed like he would live forever. He was an avid cyclist and swimmer and did both well into his 80s, but time caught up to him too.
Aristotle makes a good point, there is nothing wrong with being a man who's been through some shit and has no use for nonsense. But I don't want to be that guy, because I know I'm not an Iraq vet who's seen buddies blown up by IEDs, I'm a guy who got divorced. It was shitty, but lots of things are worse. My kids have a couple medical conditions that require visits to the local children's hospital and I see it every time I go in - thinking "man this condition sucks for me and my kid, but look at that poor kid".
I've made some changes. I'm focusing on me, focusing on being organized, focusing on doing the things I want to do and living the life I want to live. The fact that I can do that is hard after being married so long to get used to. And honestly I'm not sure how women fit into that. I'm damn sure not getting married again.
One thing is that you should not let the cancer define you. It's a big thing, but with my divorce I've quit telling people about it unless they ask. I try not to talk about my ex, or the fact that I have to pay a stupid amount of alimony. It's just a big debt payment I make on a big mistake - like buying a house without insurance and the place burned down. Still got the mortgage. Oh well, don't be an idiot again.
I went through a divorce, changed jobs after 9 years at the same place, and in the divorce there were all these accusations of alcohol abuse, so I don't keep alcohol in the house and don't drink around my kids - that alone has changed my life to the point that I really think before I go out and have a drink because of those allegations. I think they're bullshit but at the same time it makes me conscious of proving that they're bullshit. And one consequence is that I tend to not go out to bars without a purpose. It's one thing to meet a friend and have a drink, but just go out solo and hope to meet a chick to take home? Nope.
I'll admit I've broken the cardinal rule myself. I find myself longing to go back to 1993 when buying a girl dinner was a legit strategy. Like Doc Holliday said, I enjoy a good meal with a woman who's made an effort to look good for you.
dies irae makes a great point. My dad died last year and that got me thinking about mortality. My dad died last year and that made me really face mortality. My dad seemed like he would live forever. He was an avid cyclist and swimmer and did both well into his 80s, but time caught up to him too.
Aristotle makes a good point, there is nothing wrong with being a man who's been through some shit and has no use for nonsense. But I don't want to be that guy, because I know I'm not an Iraq vet who's seen buddies blown up by IEDs, I'm a guy who got divorced. It was shitty, but lots of things are worse. My kids have a couple medical conditions that require visits to the local children's hospital and I see it every time I go in - thinking "man this condition sucks for me and my kid, but look at that poor kid".
I've made some changes. I'm focusing on me, focusing on being organized, focusing on doing the things I want to do and living the life I want to live. The fact that I can do that is hard after being married so long to get used to. And honestly I'm not sure how women fit into that. I'm damn sure not getting married again.
One thing is that you should not let the cancer define you. It's a big thing, but with my divorce I've quit telling people about it unless they ask. I try not to talk about my ex, or the fact that I have to pay a stupid amount of alimony. It's just a big debt payment I make on a big mistake - like buying a house without insurance and the place burned down. Still got the mortgage. Oh well, don't be an idiot again.