Quote: (03-01-2016 11:24 PM)robreke Wrote:
Quote: (03-01-2016 11:09 PM)jariel Wrote:
You run into someone, have a five minute conversation, get her phone number, then a couple days later, try to get her to come out to Happy Hour. Not saying that they never show up, but it's hard to make a connection under those circumstances, and look, you might be a good-looking guy, but just like we find a lot of women attractive, women find a lot of men attractive, so that in and of itself, isn't always enough -- unless you're way more attractive than she is.
I've always made a concerted effort to make some level of a connection with women.
^ Could you elaborate on this?
Especially the part of how you make a "concerted effort to make some level of connection" with a woman you're interested in?
This sounds crucial to me.
Definitely.
I'm a big fan of having a conversation(s) prior to linking up. In a conversation, you can find out a lot of shit about a girl that you don't have to worry about finding out after you link up.
All that small talk shit, like where you went to school and all that, I mean when you get together with someone, the idea is to have fun. We can't have fun if we're going to spend the time trying to get each other's life story.
By the time you meet up with a chick, she shouldn't be a stranger to you. You should know enough about her so that you can treat her like someone "you know". Girls love to talk. They're literally on their phones ALL the time. I see women texting in their cars at 7:00 A.M. Women can feign being busy, but when they're really into a guy, they're never too busy.
Shit, a girl will take my call while she's at work, meanwhile dudes are hitting up the same chick at 8:00 at night on a Tuesday, getting voicemail, like "Damn, she must be busy."
I always tell women "I'll call you", not "I'll text you".
Women meet a lot of men "in passing". If a girl is available, and she has a social life, she's exchanging personal information with people all of the time. Every dude who spits isn't serious. Every chick doesn't have someone spitting. So I never even look at it from the competition angle, I think you can only look at what you're doing.
I take my time with the shit because I'm not starving for this shit. Sometimes you have to take advantage of a moment. I had a moment while I was out recently, and I had to take advantage of it. However, running into a chick at Starbucks isn't a moment. It's a chance encounter that requires more digging. As you dig, you find out more, and then when the real moment presents itself, all of your pre-game work will pay off because you'll know exactly what to do.
I try to find out things about a girl's family, educational background, work situation, living situation, etc. because it helps me get an idea of who the hell I'm dealing with.
To find out infomation, you usually have to give some information, just make sure you get more relative to what you give.
"Damn, I missed my dad's call earlier, probably something going on at the house again."
"Oh wow, your dad calls you for stuff like that? I haven't spoken to my parents in a while."
Ok she's not close with her parents, there's a reason for that. There is a whole conversation ready to take place just about that, and chances are she probably wants to talk about that, and if she feels comfortable she will, but again, you're not going there because you really care about the relationship with her parents, but you're trying to get a profile on who this person is and where they're at in life.
Doesn't matter if you're looking for a real relationship or casual sex, it's a subtle way of screening.
Just make sure to keep your conversations short. I used to do the hours on the phone with chicks shit when I was a kid, but now I'm a grown man out here, and I'm trying to get this paper, so I don't have two hours to sit on a phone with a chick.
Most dudes have tunnel vision when it comes to "getting to the pussy", the pussy no matter what it is, is still a person, if you can even feign giving a fuck about the person, it's a lot easier to ultimately get what you want.
I operate from the premise that our biggest hurdle is being a stranger, so I try to change that narrative as quickly as possible.
At the end of the day, there's always more than one way, I just know what works for me, so that's what I advocate because that's what I can give my brand of advice on.